Honest “Help Wanted” Signs
I saw this sign on the door of my nearby OfficeMax and simply had to take a photo. Wouldn’t it be nice if all jobs were posted so honestly?
NOW HIRING: Hard Worker Who Won’t Complain About Everything He/She Is Asked To Do, Three Weeks After Being Hired.
APPLICATIONS NOW BEING TAKEN: Obsequious, fawning sycophant. Other knowledge and skills only minimally necessary.
JOB OPENING: Need steady employee to take the place of the malingering, excuse-making, habitually late one we’re going to fire as soon as he gets here.
As it turns out–nothing is as ever fun as it seems–this sign was for the position of supervisor in the ImPress section (copies and printing). He or she is supposed to ensure accuracy of orders so I hope he or she corrects the spelling on the next Now Hiring sign, from Impress to ImPress.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed seeing the sign and wondered what they would do if someone showed up to say they certainly could impress a supervisor and would like to start immediately.
I once asked my group to help me develop some descriptions for a position into which someone would be transferred. I expected, “must be able to use Word proficiently” or something of that nature. Instead I received lists with descriptions like, “Must be in a good mood upon arrival, not after three cups of coffee.” “Can’t be weird acting.” “Grown up who is not in need of babysitting.” “Approximately well-balanced mentally.” “Can just do the work, please.”
A Challenge
Challenge yourself to think of what others–supervisors, coworkers and clients–would honestly say they want from someone in your job. Their wants may be unrealistic or incorrect for the work, but it can be a good way to consider if you can provide just a bit of it. Think how it would impress them!
Great idea! I’ve been stuck on a class I’m developing for ILEETA (Developing Exceptional Training Staff), and your post gave me a couple of ideas to implement in my class.
Thanks!
Comment by Brian | January 30, 2012
Tina says: Glad to be your muse for the morning, Brian! Your Mental Ammo website is always interesting and your training is too!
Comment by TLR | January 30, 2012
Very funny. Here is another one: Help Wanted: Employee who will work most of the time they are getting paid and not talk constantly about their dates, wedding plans, marriage, marriage problems, divorce, child custody, pregnancy, child bearing or child rearing or other family or personal dramas.
That probably makes me sound horrible, but you’d have to be where I work to know how little work gets done between the conversations that are the same day after day. One person has gone through all of those in the three years she’s worked here and she still has to have help doing her work because she’s too busy to learn it.
Comment by Boomer | January 30, 2012
I think if people were going to say what they wanted from me it would probably be…”Looking for someone who will save me at the last minute when I haven’t planned ahead”. At least that’s what it seems like and that’s what everyone says is the thing they like about me. That’s the main thing I hear when people thank me.
I would like to put up a sign that says, Plan Ahead! 🙂 I’m not really complaining because you know I love my job, but it sure can be rushed sometimes when it doesn’t have to be.
Comment by Kara L. | January 30, 2012