Are Your Opinions Carved In Stone?
A frustrated supervisor told me about his manager who often would state an adamant opinion or preference in a tone that implied any other view was wrong. The supervisor said, “It’s like everything he says is a royal pronouncement that is instantly carved in stone.” The supervisor compared that to another manager who always seemed willing to reconsider his stance on a subject and to change his mind when it seemed logical and appropriate.
It’s easy to see the problems that can be caused by rigid adherence to an opinion, work preference or managerial decision. However, I can also understand how it happens.
*If a manager or supervisor changes his or her mind or backs off a decision, there are likely to be comments about being wishy-washy or lacking in decisiveness. The manager or supervisor may seem to be lacking in confidence and easily swayed.
*The people who complied with a former policy, even though they may not have liked it, often will complain about changing things to make it easier for others. If they agreed with the manager’s opinion, they may feel it is a rejection of their ideas for the manager to moderate his or her views.
*If a manager or supervisor is “talked into” backing off a policy or procedure, some employees may think it is worth a try to argue about everything that doesn’t meet with their approval.
*Many managers and supervisors have gained in-depth knowledge and experiences that most employees may lack. They often have a more accurate perspective of the organization and how each aspect of work fits into overall effectiveness. They may feel that their opinions and work preferences should carry more weight than those of others.
*Most of us want to be thought of as people of conviction who stick to our principles, values and beliefs–and those are often other words for opinions.
Guidelines For Your Royal Pronouncements
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State your preferences and opinions in those terms rather than as organizational requirements or official policy.
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Solicit the opinions of others and work to see their perspectives.
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Ask yourself, “Why is it important for me to stick to this statement?” If it is primarily because you feel you will lose face if you back down, think again and consider if you might gain credibility by being flexible.
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Take your emotions and ego out of it–especially if you catch yourself mentally evaluating employees based on whether or not they accept your pronouncements and opinions wholeheartedly. Employees should not feel you will say, “Off with their heads!” just because they have opinions other than yours.
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Base your thought processes on best practices for work and on ethical and logical rationale. If you sincerely think there is no room for modification, use your influence to help others understand your views. On the other hand, if the opinion or decision is not of cosmic significance, it may not be worth the energy to draw a line in the dirt.
What Dear Abby Said
I recall reading an article by Abigail Van Buren (“Dear Abby”) in which she commented on the times people had written to tell her that her advice to one person contradicted something she had advised another person in the same situation. Ms. Van Buren said something to the effect that she often disagreed with herself. Most of us are that way.
Acknowledge that you feel strongly about important topics or work issues, but also be clear that you want to hear the thoughts of others. You may find that such an open approach will help you gain the influence you need to bring others around to your way of thinking. If you want your philosophies, thoughts and opinions to have long-lasting impact they need to be written on the hearts and minds of the people around you–not just carved in stone.
For some reason almost every on-the-job trainer seems to think their preferences have to be pushed onto every trainee they have! This is really confusing if you are in a cycle where you move from one trainer to another. They tell you right away why the other trainer was wrong and they are right. You find out quickly that if you don’t act like you really appreciate their advice they’ll give you problems over everything, so I acted like everything they thought was best was the best idea I had heard.
If I’m ever a trainer I’ll tell the trainee why I think it would help them to do it the way I think works best….but I’m not going to yank them around about it. I agree with you that if you are respected you can use your influence but you shouldn’t order people to do things the way you do when you know there are a lot of options and opinions about it. Thanks!
Comment by H.M. | November 3, 2009
I read the same thing about Dear Abby and liked it. I try not to be opinionated to the point of not listening, but I do have some strong opinions…and some of them are completely different than the opinions I had last year!
Thanks for the list of your opinions about how to handle opinions. 🙂
Comment by P.A.H. | November 3, 2009
I don’t guess you’ll let me quote the thing about “Opinions are like (blank). Everybody has one.”
But it’s true. I had a boss who was always coming up with something as a “preferred method” that was really just his opinion or maybe just a way for him to have control. I like the quideline about asking “why do I have to stick to this statement?” Sometimes I’ve dug in my heels about something I didn’t even care about. Surprised?
Comment by wiseacre | November 3, 2009
As always, good advice. Tina, I appreciate your blog more than you know!
H.M., I agree with you. Part of what we teach our trainers is that there are many ways of doing certain things, and as long as the trainee gets to the right “solution” or end results in a similar amount of time as anyone else, it’s fine for them to develop their own style.
Comment by Jennifer | November 5, 2009
Have you noticed that it’s the other guy who is opinionated, while we’re firm in our convictions?
Comment by J.J. | November 5, 2009
Tina says: I’ve been on the road this week so will do a blanket thanks to all of you for commenting.
Jennifer, thanks for mentioning how you work with one-on-one trainers. Your work setting is very much like H.M.’s.
Comment by TLR | November 6, 2009