Make Yourself Do What You Can
You and I have thought it, but Ralph Waldo Emerson was the one who said it first: “Our chief want in life is someone to make us do what we can.” That want and need for someone to force us to do what we could do if only we would do it, is why we are willing to pay others to help us make the changes we want to make in our lives and careers.
Paying someone to direct our actions, chide us for making excuses, and applaud us for success may be well worth it. Professionals or experienced people may have knowledge and resources you don’t have, and they may know tips and techniques you would never think of on your own. If you have serious problems physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually, you will need more than self-help. However, many of the activities of a life or career coach, advisor, or counselor are things you could do for yourself–and you could gain knowledge and link with resources that would help you in others ways, as well. Consider taking yourself as a client. Use the knowledge, skills and attitudes that have helped you be successful in other areas–and that you have probably used to help others–to be successful in dealing with personal and professional challenges.
1. If you hired a professional advisor or coach, what would he or she do or say in the first meeting with you? What will you be told to bring to the meeting and what will you be asked to provide as background material? What will your advisor ask you about, and how will you respond? How do you think the first meeting will end?
2. What realistic goals will you be helped to set? Will you be given a chart or graph, or asked to keep a journal or make a report regularly?
3. What plan of action do you think your advisor will develop for you? What will the plan look like from the viewpoint of what you will be guided to do less of and more of, and what will you do instead of or addition to the things you’re doing now? How often will be you be expected to do substantial work toward your goal, and what will you be expected to do?
4. What will your professional person do for you to help you achieve your goals? For example, if you hire a health and fitness counselor, will he develop a shopping list or training program for you? If you hire someone to help you in other areas will she give you reading materials, find local resources or develop a list of daily activities?
5. When you are tempted to not follow the plan, or if you have failed to do your daily work, what will your advisor do? What methods will your advisor likely suggest for avoiding temptation, sticking with your plan, and reaching your goal?
6. How will you know you have accomplished your goals, so you can have your last meeting with your advisor? Picture yourself shaking hands with him or her. What will your life be like when your advisor says “Congratulations!”?
Being your own advisor, counselor and life coach, is not the same as being your own lawyer. If you have been successful in most of the other areas of your life, you have the time, wisdom and ability to guide and direct yourself to doing what you know you can do. To make it doubly rewarding, present yourself with a bill when you’re done, and buy something worthwhile with the money you’ve saved!
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Tina, I’m enjoying this site so much! This post was really helpful to me and I have sent it to my daughter. A few years ago I spent a lot of money for a coach for a personal issue and the steps you outlined were exactly what I paid for. I did appreciate him and the results were good, but it was my own journal and daily activities that made it happen. He even said his job was to nag me to do what I knew I needed to do and could do without him!
Comment by Arizona Reader | February 19, 2008