About Praising
Praise what you want to have repeated. To praise someone means to commend them, congratulate them, honor them, extol their virtues, go into raptures over something they have done, or to strongly compliment them. Those descriptions set some high standards for what is praiseworthy! It also reminds us that there is a difference between thanking someone and praising them.
Ken Blanchard and Tina Lewis Rowe. Ken Blanchard wrote about the One Minute Praise in his books on the One Minute Manager concept. I teach about the Instant Impact Praise, which is praise that only takes a few seconds. Both Ken and I (If I had ever met him I am sure I would call him by his first name) point out that praising not only emphasizes what behavior and performance is valued, it also is a way of saying that the employee is valuable. That is what makes praise so effective.
Tips for praising in ways that mean more to employees and you:
1. Praise individuals. Telling everyone in staff meeting that you appreciate all they have done is appropriate. However, it will not have the same impact as communicating with each individual. If you have more than twenty people to praise, you may have to rely on mass compliments. If you have a smaller number, thank each person for his or her specific role.
2. Praise specifically. There are times when a general “good job” is sufficient, because the employee knows what you are talking about. Most of the time praise should be specific. For one thing, “good job” is not really praising, it is simply acknowledging in a rather tepid way.
3. Praise honestly. When a supervisor walks through a workplace, smiling and saying, “Good work!” to everyone, it dilutes the praise for those who really are doing a good job, and gives false approval to those who are not. Look for ways to praise to the appropriate level of accomplishment, and look for ways to recognize what is praiseworthy.
* Develop a Praise Phrase Vocabulary: Use the concepts that fit the work and the person, and praise high enough to show how valuable the work and the employee really is. “Wow! You’re really impressive in the way you handle an upset customer.” “That was exactly the way that project needed to be done.” “This report is a masterpiece of organization.” “You are certainly catching on to this assignment considering the short time you have worked on it. You’re doing the inventory just right.” “When I hear compliments from clients like the ones I heard about this program, I am so glad you work here!”
Don’t those sound more like praise, than, “Good job”? You need to say more than one sentence. But, even if you have to stop at that because of time or the situation, you will have really praised!
* Praise when it is merited, not just to be tossing out praise. Praise is a form of training, because it lets employees know what is valued, and encourages them to do it again. If you praise when work or behavior is not good, or if you praise in generalities when only one specific thing was good, you still are training–but not about the right things.
If you think you will never be able to praise an employee, because he or she is not very praiseworthy, consider these two thoughts: 1. Watch more closely and find something to praise–it nearly always is there. 2. If there really isn’t anything to praise, what are you doing about it?
Enjoy praising–it is one of the best perks of being a supervisor or manager.
Most coworkers do not praise each other. If they do, the praise is more like friendly support. When a manager or supervisor praises it often has more value to the employee–not always, but often. Praise individually, specifically and honestly, and it will brighten an employee’s day, and yours too!
July 10th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Supervision and Management |
5 comments
“These new kids!” Do you sometimes shake your head in frustration at the poor judgment and lack of maturity shown by newer employees, especially younger employees? Take heart, in a few years those employees will be shaking their heads too, and complaining about the “kids we hire nowadays.”
Not long ago I was teaching a group of new supervisors who had been working in their profession for only about six years, on average. One of them said, “These kids we’re hiring aren’t like the ones even a year ago. We’re getting them more immature all the time.” I suggested that perhaps he was getting more mature all the time. He vehemently said, “No, I’m not!” (His coworkers said he was telling the truth!)
What were you like as a fledgling employee? Supervisors and managers are correct to hold even the newest employees to high standards. However, sometimes it is wise to recall how we were as fledgling employees. Can you recall something you said or did that embarrasses you even now, to think about it? Have you turned out pretty well, anyway? So will most new and young employees, if we train them, support them and guide them–and correct them when it is needed.
The best kind of supervisory guidance. It is important to train employees in the competencies of the job, and to help them develop professionally by giving them opportunities for learning experiences. However, one of the best kinds of guidance we can provide is to help employees see how they can achieve much more personally and professionally–and how much more they can contribute to the organization and the team–if they work to attain emotional, mental and professional maturity.
In that context, some of the indicators are: Willing to take responsibility for one’s own success and for a role in the work environment, a desire to improve, adaptablity and flexibility, patience, perserverance and dependability, and expanding their thinking and perspectives.
Talk about that concept with each employee. Give them opportunities to gain and demonstrate maturity, and use the words that describe maturity when you praise them.
It took you a long time to mature–and you still are working at it. You still use poor judgment on occasion; you still behave inappropriately now and then; you still lose sight of the big picture and focus on your own personal needs at work. You also are always in the process of growing and maturing. That is true of every employee you supervise as well. Some mature more quickly than others and some never develop to full effectiveness. But, whatever their development, your age, tenure, experiences and job roles will probably always make you feel more mature than they are. In turn, they will view those with less tenure than them as the immature ones!
Your biggest reward. It can be very rewarding to watch employees get better at every aspect of their jobs and become more mature. What you will find even more rewarding is knowing you have helped in the process of development. That does not happen merely because you are a supervisor, it happens because you communicate about important things–and because you care.
Look around and identify those who need to mature so they can begin to achieve their potentials. See them as they can be, not neccessarily as they are. Then, help them become what you know is possible for them. Not all will live up to their potentials, but those who do will never forget you. Perhaps they will use your example to encourage them to guide others.
July 7th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Personal and Professional Development, Supervision and Management |
one comment
Some questions about prickly people at work: Do you supervise someone you tip-toe around to avoid setting them off in some way?
Do you sometimes feel that you and the rest of your workplace are held hostage by one person who is incredibly difficult for others to work with?
Does it sometimes unnerve you? Aren’t you tired of it?
The employee who must be treated like a time bomb: I’ve written before about discourtesy in the workplace. In fact, that is a recurring theme of mine, since I hear so many complaints about it. However, this article is focused on the person who is challenging because he or she is hyper-sensitive to critique or suggestion–let alone criticism. Perhaps the employee cries or sulks or becomes angry and withdrawn.
The result is that coworkers and supervisors avoid the slightest hint of suggestion that something that person did or said should be done differently next time or could be improved. The difficult person becomes the only one who never hears a complaint or suggestion. No wonder he thinks he’s perfect! No wonder she is shocked at the slightest criticism! And, what often happens is that when a supervisor finally decides to say something he unloads on the employee in a way that makes things worse.
The difference between sensitive and punitive. I chose the photo for this article for a reason: The prickly tree does not need to be treated gently because it is delicate. It must be treated gently because it will punish you otherwise! That is also why we need to have heightened awareness of employees who seem to be over-the-top about their emotions, irritations and reactions.
You are not psychologist or psychiatrist, so you do not know whether the behavior is much more severe than it seems–not that psychologists or psychiatrists always know either! However, you are responsible for the safety and security of others, including the employee who seems to have trouble handling any critique. You are also responsible for enforcing rules and policies, and there are nearly always rules and policies about courtesy, respect and appropriate behavior.
There are reasons to be concerned. Last week in Kentucky, an employee who had been chided about his repeated cell phone use and for repeatedly not wearing safety goggles, returned to the workplace and shot and killed five people, including the supervisor, before committing suicide. Many similar events have occurred in businesses, industry and government offices around the country. Supervisors and managers are justified in being concerned about prickly people!
You probably will not have such a dire situation with your challenging employee, but I doubt that supervisor thought so either. You may think you know your challenging employee very well–you may even be friends. But, emotions and mental upset can result in actions you never expected. You certainly might have to deal with a lot of anger and bitterness.
Do your job and handle the situation. Do not let yourself get into the habit of allowing poor work or ineffective behavior because you want to avoid the upset that will result if you say something. Do not require other employees to tolerate bad behavior from a coworker because you do not want to deal with it.
Talk to HR, your psychological resources if available, and your managers, to let them know what you have planned. Follow organizational guidelines. For example, you may not be able to tell an employee it is his last warning if there was no first warning. You also need to find out what you can do if the employee reacts in a way that is a rules violation or becomes out of control. Can you place a formal disciplinary action about it? Can you require him to go to psychologist? Can you call security? Can you make him go home? Can you keep him out if he tries to return? Know in advance, even if you do not expect any strong reaction.
When you talk to the employee, do your best to make it a comfortable conversation. That might sound impossible, but make the effort. Do not put desk space between you. Sit at a table or in a conversational arrangement.
*Start by saying what you have observed, why it is a problem and what the employee must do differently in the future. Stick to observable behaviors, not what you think the employee thinks or feels.
*Remind the employee of rules or policies and say they will be enforced in the future.
*Keep it brief and do not preach or do excessive counseling, simply state the behavior that must stop.
*Consider following that with the approach of reinforcing what you want to see stay the same, then getting the employee to say back what he or she will do differently in the future about a sample situation.
*If you have organizational resources to recommend, provide those in a supportive way. Just do not let his problems become yours to solve.
There are many resources that can provide more lengthy information about handling difficult corrective interviews than I have space for in this article. However, you will do just fine if you stick with that formula of stating the behavior that is a problem, giving an example, and getting feedback about how it will be handled differently in the future. I’m not saying the employee will like it or thank you. But, at least you can get through it.
Get back to work. After the interview, quickly, quickly, quickly reestablish normal conversations and relationships. Assign work, thank him for a good job, be low-key but appropriate. Give him a chance to save face and move forward.
I have experienced several supervisory situations in my career where I halfway expected a very angry outburst or a sulky temper tantrum. I was correct in three cases. VERY correct in one case! In another case, the employee looked at me for a moment and said, “OK.” He never acted the same tyrannical, angry way again! If I had known it was going to be that easy, I would have talked to him much sooner!
Your situation will be unique and you must decide how it should be handled. However, do not feel foolish for thinking you have reasons to be concerned about someones hyper-reactions to criticism. There is ample evidence than such reactions can lead to more serious problems if they are allowed to continue.
June 30th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Safety and Security Planning, Supervision and Management |
7 comments
Most of us value those who have the mental and emotional strength to take responsibility and to be held accountable. We become frustrated and angry when there is a lack of accountability at the higher levels of our organization, or when those at lower levels seem to refuse to take responsibility.
Since those two issues are important for respect and confidence, let’s look at their definitions to get some clarity:
Responsible: Able to be trusted or depended upon; reliable. Liable to be required to give account, as of one’s actions or of the discharge of a duty or trust. Involving personal accountability or the ability to act without guidance or superior authority.
Accountable: Liable to being called to account; answerable, responsible for actions and results.
Hmmmm. It appears that responsibility and accountability are just about the same! If we are responsible, we can be held accountable. If we are held accountable, we were responsible.
There are two things to note about responsibility and accountability:
- Have you noticed that we tend to think of responsibility as a good thing, but being held accountable as punitive?
- It is nearly always easier to apply those concepts to the other guy than to ourselves.
We often brag (sometimes by pretending to complain) about all of our responsibilities and how the weight of everything is on us. But, if it looks like there will be negative comments, we are suddenly more than willing to share the responsibility: “Someone else was in charge! I barely was involved at all.”
We say we want our supervisors and managers to be held accountable. (”They never get in trouble but we always do!”) But, we condemn them for micromanaging or not trusting us, if they try to make sure nothing goes wrong. Think of that logic: “I want them to get out of the way and let me do my work. Then, I want them to be held accountable if there is a problem with the way I do my work.”
Communicating about responsiblity and accountability: As with most workplace issues, we would all benefit by more open communications about responsiblity and accountability. One way to do it is to use the words:
- “I want you to be responsible.”
- Make me responsible for it.”
- “I’m giving you the responsibility for this.”
- “You lived up to your responsibilities. Great job!”
- “This has to be done correctly because you and I will be held accountable for it.”
- “All of us will be held accountable for this, so I will be checking with you to make sure we are on schedule and that it’s going well.”
Notice how uncomfortable you feel even thinking about telling an employee he or she will be held accountable? No wonder many employees are shocked at the idea!
Noble weights: Responsibility and accountability can be burdens, no doubt about it, but they are noble burdens. (Noble: That’s a word we don’t use much anymore!)
We develop personally and professionally when we look for ways to be held responsible and when we are willing to be held accountable. That might require us to carry a heavier mental and emotional load than someone who has no sense of responsibility, or who avoids accounting for his or her actions. However, the weight of it will not drag you down. Ultimately it is the very thing that will help you stand tall in your work. You will gain strength, and that strength will show in your confidence and in the respect others have for you.
Maybe that is why those who shirk responsibility or who prefer to put it all on others, seem so small and puny!
June 26th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Personal and Professional Development, Supervision and Management |
4 comments
Almost all of us attend meetings at work–although we may not call all of them that because meetings do not necessarily involve sitting at a conference table. Think of a meeting as any time you gather with coworkers in a work setting.
- A quick huddle with coworkers or peers, related to a specific work situation.
- A short, planned conversation with people in or out of your group, or with your manager or those you supervise. These are the impromptu meetings that can wreck a day if they are not used wisely.
- A regularly scheduled meeting. These are usually the ones that are viewed most negatively, although they will probably always be necessary. There seems to be a human resistance to the idea of structured meetings–but you can respond at least a bit differently than that, if you choose to do it!
- A social gathering at work. (Birthday or other recognition party.) These are as important for your influence and reputation as any other meeting, as well as giving you a chance to focus on others.
Here are ten ways to demonstrate effectiveness when you attend a meeting:
1. Plan for it. When you get the notification, even if it is short notice, consider what you might be able to contribute or what you are expected to discuss. If reading material is attached, read the material so you can effectively discuss it from the very beginning–and so you are not skimming through it as others are talking.
Consider contacting the person planning the meeting to ask if you can help get things together or do other pre-meeting work.
This is the time to invite a coworker or direct report (subordinate) if the meeting is open to guests. Many of your meetings may only be for those who were specifically invited, but others are open to those who have a logical reason to attend. This subject was mentioned in a post just last week.
2. Maintain a positive attitude. Keep in mind that few people call a meeting unless they think it is justified–whether you think it is or not. Try to see the purpose of the meeting from that person’s perspective. If you have any control at all over it, perhaps you can suggest another format. If you do not have any control over it, simply accept that it is part of your work and do it.
Never, ever, ever, groan to someone, “I have to go to a meeting tomorrow morning (grimace, frown, whine).” It makes you sound like a victim or a beat-down subservient employee, not a strong individual. No matter how you feel, resolve to talk and act as though you have a leadership role in all of your work. If the meeting is a social meeting–birthday, retirement, baby-shower or other celebration–show good cheer about it just as you would want others to do if the event was in your honor.
3. Arrive a few minutes early. Help those who are setting up the room or distributing material, or use the time to review the material to be discussed. The person who called the meeting will likely be there and will appreciate your punctuality. If it is a social function there are always things to do at the last minute and your help may be invaluable for getting started on time.
4. Sit close to the person who called the meeting. Unless seats are assigned or if you will be sitting with an employee or coworker you have brought, be purposeful about your seating. By sitting near the person who will be central to the meeting, you are more likely to be involved. You also will be less likely to become lethargic as time goes on! You demonstrate your interest and leadership by not being one of those who slink to the back of the room or get as far away from the center of the discussion as possible.
5. Be an active participant throughout the meeting. From the moment the meeting starts until it ends, purposely work to stay active by talking and listening appropriately. Pretend each person there has a rating sheet on which they will evaluate your demeanor and effectiveness. You never know when their mental evaluation will be important to your career or to future support you receive from them.
Be aware of your waning energy as the meeting continues. Purposely reenergize your attention for each person who contributes, even if you have run out of patience and interest. They are probably nervous and will appreciate your support–and may have something to say you need to hear.
If it is a social function, mingle and chat. Do not stand off to the side or with a small clique of people, refusing to participate. Make sure you talk to the honoree(s). Those actions are noticed and appreciated by many others, especially if you are a supervisor or manager.
During the event consider contacting the person who is responsible for the function and ask again if you can help. You can often identify the person responsible, even if you do not know for sure, because she (or occasionally, he) is busy from start to finish!
6. Talk, if you have something worthwhile to say. It is crucial that meeting participants talk effectively about topics under discussion. Meetings that are considered failures are often actually failures of inviduals to contribute. In addition, having everyone sit silently is discourteous to the person who is asking for input.
Among the things that are worthwhile for you to talk about:
Information that is needed by the others.
A new perspective that might make a difference.
Support for someone else if it appears they need it.
Disagreement, when it is important to present another view.
If you have something on the topic that you want to talk to someone about after the meeting, maybe you should say it in the meeting. There is nothing more frustrating to a meeting leader than hearing everyone who did not discuss the topic when their ideas could have helped, animatedly talking about it to others as they leave the room!
What is usually not worthwhile: Off-topic comments; redundant comments that do not move the meeting along; comments made primarily to sound impressive or to deflate others; insincere support of others to win their favor, inappropriate humor that stops the momentum.
When you talk, look at everyone now and then not just at the person who called the meeting or at your manager. Make a sincere effort to share inclusively.
7. Listen actively. Look at people when they talk. Do not show your dislike or lack of support or interest by doodling or reading while others are talking. Pay attention to each person as if they were the highest ranking person in your organization. Ask questions if you sincerely have them. Keep your body turned toward the person talking until they are done.
This same advice applies in social meetings. You have probably chatted with someone who acted as though he or she was looking for someone more important to talk to. You know how that feels. Show interest in everyone, then disengage and move to someone else if that is necessary.
8. Limit your note-taking. This may surprise you, but it is a key issue. Most meeting attendees take notes to stay busy–and often to avoid participating–but they never refer to the notes again. Only write key information you know you will not remember, or not have access to otherwise. Put your pen down between notes, so you can show through your body language that you are listening and involved.
9. Help the leader during the meeting. Sometimes the person who calls a meeting is not adept at leading one. Help by working to keep things on topic; ask questions to move things along; mention the time, if it appears there is a lot to cover and little time left. This must be handled appropriately and sensitively, of course, but can be very helpful to everyone, including the leader.
If the leader obviously does not want or need your assistance, no matter how badly things are going, at least you can be the one who does not contribute to the worst of the issues. More than anything, avoid the not-so-subtle eye rolls or glances at friends who share your opinions about a person or issue.
10. Write a follow-up note to the leader (and to others when appropriate.) A short email after a meeting is always appreciated, no matter what the purpose of the meeting. You might write to indicate your plans for further action, or simply to thank the person for setting up the meeting or hosting it in his or her office. Or, you may have an additional question or have found new material on one of the topics discussed.
For a social meeting, it is always appropriate to send a short note to to the honoree and to those who helped put the party together. Such functions involve tremendous work and often no one says thank you–you can be the one!
For either business or social functions, find out who paid for the refreshments, if you know they were not provided by the organization, and give some money to that person–at least a few dollars if you can afford it. The gesture will be appreciated much, much more than you realize!
You may have other ways you demonstrate effectiveness, or things you have observed that have impressed you at meetings. Let me know about those, if you have the time!
June 17th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Personal and Professional Development, Supervision and Management |
5 comments
Almost anyone at a supervisory, managerial or executive level can remember a time when going to a meeting with the boss–or in place of the boss–seemed interesting and exciting. Come on, you know you do! I recall being asked by my captain to attend a community meeting when he was busy. I was thrilled about it, hardly slept the night before, and spiffied up for the occasion! Better yet was the time I attended a meeting held in the office of a division chief. I was a lowly sergeant and could barely believe I was sitting in the same room as someone with that much rank! I remember looking around the room and feeling as though I had arrived!
Do not underestimate the value of including employees–even those who do not seem likely to be excited about the idea–when you attend meetings that are appropriate for bringing a guest. Sometimes there are chairs around the room for those accompanying the people sitting at a conference table. (Not an ideal situation, but many attendees actually prefer those peripheral chairs.) The preferable situation is open seating when the two of you are sitting together.
If you take an employee along, make it a learning experience rather than just idle observation. You might suggest things he or she could be looking and listening for. A word of caution: Do not complain about meetings in general or the specific meeting, mock the people attending or spend all your time going and coming to the meeting being negative. This is your chance to show that you make an effort to be effective in every situation.
(Edit note after publishing this post: I have been asked by several people here and by email, if it’s OK to be truthful about not enjoying going to meetings or not to a specific meeting. I think it is best to be truthful, but that does not mean you have to be brutally honest. Just say you sometimes get frustrated or that you find some specific aspect of it to be irritating. The important thing to is to let the employee know you will do your best to participate effectively, even though your experiences have encouraged you to feel negative. Consider talking to the employee about how any meeting could be made better. One day he or she will chair a meeting and that could be helpful information.
A meeting with your manager: Taking an employee to a meeting doesn’t have to involve formal meetings with several attendees. Consider purposely setting up a meeting with your manager about once a month, in which you report events in your work group. Let the manager know you will always bring an employee, which is why you will not report anything confidential during those meetings.
The value of including employees in meetings.You may have attended so many meetings that the aura of mystery about them is long gone. To most employees who do not normally attend them, meetings are interesting, a break from work, and a way to meet people outside the immediate work group. If higher level managers are going to present, it becomes even more intriguing. Build on that to use meetings as a way to achieve several worthwhile things:
- When you take someone as a guest to a meeting, they feel a stronger connection to you. If they value the meeting, they will value you more for letting them participate.
- Employees are more likely to see the bigger picture of the organization when they hear the efforts of others to accomplish projects and improve processes.
- Meetings outside the organization helps employees gain even broader perspectives and also helps them see the connections involved in work.
- Attending meetings may be the thing that helps employees see themselves in a higher position, and that enthuses them about preparing for a future with the organization.
- If you ensure you rotate the participation it will increase your reputation for being encouraging, supportive and fair for all employees.
Look at your calender and pick a meeting or two you can start with soon. Make sure it is OK to bring a guest, then invite a supervisor or employee. Talk to the employee about the group ahead of time, including what you would like the employee to do during the meeting. Follow-up afterward by getting the employee’s viewpoint of the group and the reason for the meeting. The insights you gain may be very valuable!
If you do not have anything scheduled that seems appropriate, purposely set up a meeting. Let the person with whom you are meeting know what you are doing and what you hope to accomplish. Make it a worthwhile time for the everyone. It may even renew your interest in some of the things you are meeting about!
June 10th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Personal and Professional Development, Supervision and Management |
8 comments
