Tina Lewis Rowe

The Perpetual State Of Things

Just in case you were thinking things
are worse than ever.

This issue of Life magazine in 1969 lamented high taxes, high prices and the national debt.

Time magazine in 1992 had articles about the same things.

This 1972 Time magazine talked about the national debt and the cost of our international efforts.

This 1977 magazine featured stories on the hijacking of Lufthansa Flight 181, the murder of its pilot and the terrorizing of its 86 passengers by four members of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine. This terrorist group has been responsible for hijackings and suicide bombings since 1967.

This 1971 Time Magazine featured the Irish Republican Army, later called the Irish National Liberation Army. They used bombs, murders and kidnappings to advance their cause of a socialist, independent country, both within Ireland in sectarian violence (Catholics against Protestants and vice versa) and in England. On October 11, 2009 the IRA/INLA formally ended its use of campaigns of violence and terrorism to advance their cause, saying they would rely on political efforts.

Life magazine in 1931. Some things are always good ideas.

January 25th, 2011 Posted by TLR | Keeping On!, Life and Work | 2 comments

Colleagues, Co-Workers Or Fellow Inmates?

Who is most like you and least like you at work?

Think about the people who work with you directly or indirectly and do a bit of an analysis. Don’t take the time to worry about the why of your responses, just put faces and names to these questions.

Who do you most look forward to seeing when you come back from time away?
Who do you most dread seeing?
Who works about the same way you do? (Time management, communication style, attitude, skill level, etc.) Is that helpful to you or not?
Who works in an almost completely different way than you do? Is that a problem or not?
If you were given an office to share with someone, who would you choose?
Who has helped you the most in the last six months?
Who has purposely or inadvertently hindered you from getting your work done effectively?
Who have you complained, griped or grumbled the most about while at work?
Who do you think of as a strong ally?
Who is the person with whom you can share thoughts when you want to discuss improving work or being more effective?
Who is an unknown quantity to you?
Who do you think understands you and your motivations and concerns the best?

Answering those questions may only reinforce what you already know about who you like and who you don’t. Or, the answers may encourage you to reach out more, build a bridge or repair one and say thank you to the person or people who have supported you over time.

Look around at work and you’ll realize that most are co-workers, although not particularly close ones. A few seem like inmates in a particularly bizarre asylum. A very few are colleagues who will watch your back and make your time at work better. Have you said thanks to those (or that one) lately?

January 13th, 2011 Posted by TLR | Keeping On!, Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development | 7 comments

Give It A Rest

Yes, everyone knows about your knowledge or skill area. They know your likes and dislikes. They know what you are passionate about. They know what you are most interested in at work. They know. But they may be tired of having you interject the topic into every conversation or attempting to make yourself and your work relevant to every project or program.

There are several reasons most of us tend to bring things back to our areas of interest–sometimes to the point of being irritating.

It is on our minds a lot, so it’s just natural that it comes out in our conversations.
Because of our knowledge we may realize how the subject fits and can see the value of others being aware of it.
We may want to sell ourselves or our department or section so we never miss a chance to mention the importance of our work.
When it comes to philosophies and ideas, we may be so committed to a cause that we think others agree and want to discuss it as well.
We may think that just one more logical argument from us will persuade someone we know doesn’t agree with us.
We may be a one-tune person or employee without much else to talk about or without other areas of expertise.
We may incorrectly think everything revolves around us or our work.

Whatever is the reason for you, it may be irritating to others. Listen for hints–maybe said with a joking tone–that people were just waiting for you to bring the subject around to your pet topic. Watch for smiles, rolled eyes, heavy sighs or other indicators. If it seems your comments are often met with, “Yeah, yeah, we know. Let’s move on”, consider if you are becoming very predictable in your remarks. Even if your comments are valid, once you’ve lost your listeners, communication isn’t taking place.

Alternatives To The Same Old Song

If you believe your comment or expertise is really needed but others are not listening, acknowledge that you may sound repetitious but you believe it’s important. If you continue to be shut down, talk to your manager or supervisor in private about it and ask for advice.
Talk to someone you respect about their suggestions for how to express your thoughts in ways that don’t get remarks like, “I wondered how long it would take for you to bring it around to that.”
Review your conversations and ask yourself if you simply have run that topic into the ground with everyone. If there is even a chance that you have, give it a rest.
Wait and see if others bring it up and ask you about it–always the best indicator of influence and acceptance.
Purposely measure out the number of times you mention your recurring issue or topic.
Purposely look for other examples, situations or illustrations. Gain expanded perspectives so you have more than one viewpoint or one experience.

Of course, when lives, ethics, big money or other serious consequence are at stake we may need to push every time to make sure the right things are done. However, those situations nearly always involve more than a routine meeting or conversation. In most work situations we don’t need to sound like a broken record to get ourselves noticed, our work valued or our opinions expressed. If you think you do, deal with that first.

January 8th, 2011 Posted by TLR | Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development | 12 comments

Time To Change Your Greeting Message

Think of how many voice messages you have received in the last year. Consider that every time you get a voice message, someone has listened to your recorded greeting. Start your new year with a fresh greeting message and keep it fresh.

Correct mumbles and misspeaks. When some of the same people call you repeatedly, they hear you repeatedly fumble your name, clear your throat or speak to someone in the background as you hang up. Record a new greeting that lets them hear you at your best.

Update your greeting and keep it current. Some people record a new greeting every day. I did that for a time (and received compliments on it) but found it to be more trouble than I wanted to deal with. However, it’s oten necessary to change your messages for specific situations.

“Hello, this is Mark Sanderson. It’s Tuesday, January 4th, and I’m traveling today. I’ll be returning calls tomorrow, Wednesday, so please leave your message. Thanks!”

“Hi, this is Jan Rossoni. I’ll be out of the office and won’t be getting messages until February 10th. Paul Nabors will be happy to help you before then and he can be reached at 316-222-0570. Otherwise, leave a message and I’ll call you back when I return in February. Thank you!”

If you do that kind of updating, call yourself and leave a reminder to change the message before business starts the day you return.

Give callers a fresh mental image of you. When your greeting sounds the same for months or years, frequent callers just wait to get to the spot where they can leave a message. When you occasionally have a fresh sound, even frequent callers tend to listen to it as though they are listening to you speak. Let them hear you as a dynamic person who is engaged in work, not a dull, recorded echo of you from two years ago.

General suggestions:

It sounds pretentious for anyone but the President or Donald Trump to have a secretary record the greeting.
Don’t pause after, “Hello.” People feel silly when they start talking, then realize it’s a recording. Well, I sure feel silly when I do that, anyway!
Say your greeting as though you’re really talking to someone, not as though you’re reading a script.
Catch phrases are usually unnecessary and a bit much. (“Have a GREAT day!” “Go Broncos!” ) Get some input from a colleague about them.
Put a slight smile in your voice instead of sounding excessively stern.
Call yourself to hear what others hear. For example, there is no point in saying something that an automated message repeats after your personal message.

The bottom line: Your voice message is you to those who call. Let them hear the best, current you.

January 4th, 2011 Posted by TLR | Life and Work, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers, Training, Technology, Blogs, A/V etc. | 7 comments

Renew Year’s Day, 2011

Who do you think of on special days?

A seasonal verse I have found to be poignant over the years–and more so in the last few years–is this one, which you have probably seen on many Christmas cards. Think of it more deeply and purposefully this year and spend some time in special remembrance.

Never a Christmas morning,
Never the old year ends,
But someone thinks of someone,
Old days, old times, old friends.

Who does your mind turn to on Christmas morning and on New Year’s Eve? What memories do you especially cherish? Who is thinking about you? Find ways in the coming year to make more memories, touch the lives of more people and appreciate and enjoy your life more than ever.

Spend a few moments remembering all the significant people who have contributed to making you who you are. Then, make 2011 a Renew Year in ways that are noticeable and that you can feel in every aspect of your life. If you find it difficult to do it for yourself, do it in honor of those you are remembering more than ever right now.

New Year’s eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights. – Hamilton Wright Mabie

December 30th, 2010 Posted by TLR | Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development | 5 comments

Stop It.

What are you doing at work that could get you in trouble?
Someone else at work probably knows.

Most people who get caught at work in an unethical action or a violation of a policy, rule or procedure, never thought they would be reported, complained about or found out. They gamble with their reputations, jobs, professional status, income and families because, even though they know the risks, they think they will be the one person who doesn’t get caught. When the inevitable happens they apologize, offer to make amends and often cry over the bad results of their decisions and actions. You’ve seen it or heard about it far too many times.

I think most people who accept responsibility for their actions sincerely do regret the poor decisions that led to the bad results. They probably all wish they could turn back time and get a do-over. One person told me on the day of his demotion, which was also the day his wife filed for divorce about a work situation, “I worried about it the first few times I did it, then I guess I just thought I had it figured out so no one would ever know. I’d give everything I possess to get the chance to do it over.”

There are no do overs, there is only don’t do.

One reason I feel so strongly about supervisory intervention is because I think we could save our organizations from a lot of problems and embarrassment and save employees from themselves if we intervene before the harm or at the very first indicator of a problem.

All it requires is that supervisors and managers monitor work behavior and performance appropriately for the job and talk to employees about potential problems as well as observable problems. Supervisors and managers often need to be the stop sign.

What is going to happen when you are found out?

Ultimately the best intervention is that which is done by our personal ethical and moral characters and our fears of what will happen if we are caught. That latter is just as valid as the former and it sometimes has a much stronger effect on our decisions!

Any time you consider doing something you know isn’t quite right or is blatantly wrong, picture being confronted about it down the line when your involvement is known. Think about the worse case scenario of what could happen to your job, your family, your income, your future and your reputation. Don’t think if you are found out, think, when you are found out. Then, ask yourself if what you’re considering doing is worth that result. Think about how you will feel when you wish you could have a do-over. Then, make the right decision right then.

If you’re doing something now that could spell disaster if it were known, stop it. If you need help to conquer an addiction, a psychological problem or a destructive habit, get that help right away. Get legal advice if you need it. Stay away from temptation from now on and resist it when you feel it. You know that is what you would say to others, so take the advice yourself.

The bottom line: You’re living in a fool’s paradise if you think no one knows or will never find out about the secret thing you’ve been doing or that they don’t care about the problem behavior or performance you’ve been showing.

*If you’ve been doing something wrong that involves someone else, they probably have talked about it already or they will when you’re not friends anymore or if they start feeling guilty.
*If it involves company resources, someone is probably tracking it or will be.
*If it involves technology, someone probably has the evidence.
*If your actions have made work life unpleasant for others, they’re already documenting it and will complain at some point if you continue.
*If you’re cutting corners on your time, attendance or work, someone is probably keeping a record.
*If you have active enemies, they are watching for something to report.
*Even if what you are doing is not a crime or a huge ethical violation or severe problem, remember that the truth probably will come out at some point–maybe at the worst possible time when you will wish you didn’t have to deal with it.

Read the news of the latest scandal, crime, shameful misdeeds or organizational shake-ups and realize none of those people thought they would be caught or that anyone would complain. Think about the people who have been fired from your work or who were demoted or lost their influence and reputations. They didn’t think they’d be found out or reported either. Let those events remind you of what can happen, often to otherwise decent people–like you.

You should feel afraid of what might happen and I hope you are–afraid enough to stop it.

December 26th, 2010 Posted by TLR | Challenging and Problematic People, Life and Work, Supervision and Management | 5 comments

Although it’s been said many times, many ways…..

Merry Christmas to you.

At Christmas in 1967 I was on my own for the first time and was excited to send cards with only my name on them! (It’s amazing how little it took to feel excited about Christmas then!) I wanted to say something positive, in spite of all the terrible things that were happening all over the world and how much political division there was in this country. I wrote:

May you have the audacity to be happy in these troubled times!

That message still applies. Merry Christmas to all of you. Thank you for the gift of your friendship, support or just the idle curiosity that brings you to this site!

December 24th, 2010 Posted by TLR | Life and Work | 4 comments

Deck The Halls–Or Else.

At the beginning of the holiday season I wrote about not being a party-pooper at work and I encouraged everyone to make an effort to enjoy the festivities. I heard from many people who agreed and some who didn’t. Even those who had another view were unanimous that they didn’t mind a few cookies and some decorations here and there. One man said he had been inspired to help coworkers put up the decorations and he found he enjoyed it far more than he thought he would. Their disagreement was more with the idea of forcing people to participate in things that seemed to be outside the scope of workplace camaraderie. I agree with them on that topic!

Happy Hour events. In some workplaces a weekly or monthly “happy hour” get-together is routine and a fun activity for many. However, not everyone wants to drink alcohol, be with those who do or be in a bar or similar place, even if no one is having alcoholic drinks. Many people need to get home and be with their families. Some know they have alcohol, smoking or sexual temptations and they try to avoid situations that lead to those things. Some can’t afford drinks and snacks every Friday afternoon or even once a month. Many have told me that happy hour times tend to be gossip times in which remarks are made about those who aren’t there. As a result, they don’t want to go but also are fearful about not being present!

If your office has a regular happy hour, make sure everyone knows it is optional. Don’t let anyone who is absent become the target of remarks. If there are problems with anyone about work it should be handled openly at work. Whateever your role in the workplace, you can stop that kind of conversation. Keep the Happy Hour happy and don’t let anyone drive home if there is even a mild concern about sobriety.

Group and spouses functions after work or on weekends. Some employees enjoy participating in all-group events such as movies, bowling, sports or other activities that happen after work or on weekends. Usually spouses are invited to these and that seems to make people view them more positively. However, there should not be even a vague hint that it has anything to do with work success. Example: ”You don’t have to attend, but I see it as a way to decide if you want to keep being part of our team or not.” In the real-life situation, the threat was obvious and even though the manager didn’t have that level of authority, the employee knuckled under.

Company parties and picnics. I think these should be appreciated by employees rather than avoided, but they still should not be used to judge the quality of the employee on the job and should not be mandatory. (Often those who opt out would not have added much anyway, because of their negative view of everything, so don’t push it!)

Charitable giving or activities: I’ve always supported food drives, Toys for Tots, The United Way, The Combined Campaign, school volunteerism and similar activities, but I resented the few times when it was made a requirement not a choice–most people I know feel the same way. So, before your business, group or division adopts a school, supports a program or has a blood drive, make sure there is an understanding among organizers that participation is voluntary and no strong-arm tactics will be allowed.

Your role: If you are a manager or supervisor speak up to represent the employees in your group when it seems there is inappropriate pressure being put on to participate in any activity or function that should be voluntary. If you are the one who came up with an idea for a function, charity or progam, take your ego out of it. Getting 100% participation doesn’t mean you have 100% support. It may actually mean 100% of the employees resent being badgered into participating.

If you are an employe who feels pressured, think about whether you really must participate or is it just that you don’t want to say no? What will happen if you don’t take part? Often the idea of intimidation is mostly in the mind of the employee. They could courteously say no without repercussion, but they would rather sigh heavily and do something they don’t enjoy. Decide and do it or not, of your own free will.

Bottom line: We still have a work week to go before Christmas. Enjoy the season and encourage those you work with to relax, smile and enjoy it too–without implying, “Or else.”

December 19th, 2010 Posted by TLR | Food, Fitness, Fun, Life and Work | 8 comments

Pork Rind Cranberry Sauce–A New Tradition

Developing a New Tradition

I’ve posted this every year and recently was asked if I was going to publish my famous cranberry sauce recipe again. Another tradition I guess!

Several years ago my hair stylist and I were talking about traditional recipes for holiday dinners. She said: “I always made traditional cranberry sauce until I found a recipe that sounded really weird but good and tried it on my family. They loved it and never guessed what was in it!”

I asked her what it was and she said, “It’s Pork Rind Cranberry Sauce. And, before you say you wouldn’t like it, let me tell you it’s different but really delicious.”

I was somewhat incredulous and asked about the recipe. She said, “You cook cranberry sauce just like always. Then, you add pork rinds, stir, and let it set until it cools. It gives it a different taste, but nothing you can quite identify. My kids absolutely loved it.”

I asked if it gave it a different texture and she said no, that the pork rinds mix right in and don’t change the cranberry sauce texture at all. She made me promise I would try it some time, even though it didn’t sound like something I would like. I said I would try it, but would probably make the regular kind too. She said, “You wait, people will eat more of this kind.”

The recipe was on my mind as I walked out of the salon, which was near a grocery store. I turned back and asked her how much of the pork rinds she put in the sauce. She said, “Not a lot, just enough for flavor. About a fourth cup for a regular recipe, but you can adjust that to taste. I buy those little bottles at the liquor store.”

That was the first time I heard her clearly–and also the first time I realized the recipe she gave me was not for Pork Rind Cranberry Sauce, but for Port Wine Cranberry Sauce. Big difference.

Now you see why I stick to traditional recipes.

December 14th, 2010 Posted by TLR | Food, Fitness, Fun, Life and Work | 7 comments

Read Books–In Any Format

My friend, Helen Adams, now has her home in an assisted living residence near Kansas City, Missouri. When I call her and ask what she is doing, she always has the same response: “I’m reading a good book!” Her pleasure in reading, even though she is limited about other activities, reinforces that the joy of reading lasts when other pleasures fade. For Helen, reading is a life-long habit that has allowed her to be entertained and informed while others are watching re-runs on TV in the lobby area.

Many people will give and receive electronic readers for Christmas and many more will give and receive hardback and paperback books. My wish for you is that you will read more–and better–this year, in whatever format you enjoy. Not just fiction, although well-written fiction can cause us to reflect, apply and evaluate. Shakespeare, Dickens, Hardy, Rand, Conrad, Lewis, Homer, and other great writers only wrote fiction, but their thoughts can easily be applied to many aspects of our lives. However, reading dozens of romances, crime thrillers or other quickly churned out and quickly forgotten books , will probably not achieve the same results!

Challenge yourself to expand your thinking and your reading: Poetry, essays, biographies, autobiographies, historic evaluations, journals, critiques, classics, translations, books from other cultures and books about subjects you’ve never even considered. Make it a point to read something every month that has the potential to inspire you, encourage you, give you insights you need, provide information you can apply immediately, help you in your daily walk and help you help others.

Try these resources and ideas:

www.abebooks.com. Use the search function and buy some books on a favorite topic, written before 1930, 1950, 1980 or some other abitrary date. This is a great gift idea!
www.alibris.com. Or, find a book on Amazon and buy it used there.
Go to a library book sale and pick three non-fiction books at random, without looking at the titles. You might not particularly enjoy or even understand the books, but it’s good to read books others do enjoy and understand! Do the same thing in the poetry section, the historical section and others.
Swap books with friends or just give them to each other. When you have friends over, stack some of your used books on a counter and let them take all they want.
Have a book swap at work, church, club meetings or other functions.

The second challenge, after getting a book, is to read it. There is a tremendous temptation to skim a book, especially non-fiction. Make an effort to read the forward, introduction, all the chapters and the footnotes (often the most interesting part!). When you read all of the book, you are more likely to be able to share the thoughts and spirit of the person who spent so much time writing all of it. Give them the chance to convey their thoughts fully through every word, not just the first few paragraphs of three or four chapters. (On the other hand, nothing says you have to keep reading a book just to be doing it. If you can’t find something worthwhile after the first three to five chapters maybe you need to put that book in your giveaway stack.)

The third challenge of reading is to think while you’re reading. You need to stop now and then, even with fiction, and ask yourself how you feel about it, what you think about it and how it fits with your reality and experiences. Make reading a thinking experience and you’ll enjoy it more–and feel your brain cells growing!

Helen Adams would agree with Mason Cooley, the aphorist (someone who said something you once thought and wish you could have said as well), who said, “Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.”