The song by Vince Gill is often reserved for Christmas, but it seems appropriate as we remember not only those who died on September 11, 2001, but soldiers and others who have died for the cause of peace before then and since then.
As individuals we cannot change the present or future in dramatic ways, but we can be more caring and peaceful in our own lives and with those we encounter every day. We may know that there will likely never be peace on Earth, but we can wish for it, pray for it and work toward it. Let There Be Peace On Earth. (See the four little arrows at the bottom right of the You Tube video? That’s so you can expand Peace on Earth to full screen size! Wouldn’t it be nice if we could do that in real life?)
September 10th, 2011
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TLR |
Life and Work |
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Parties with coworkers and managers can be fun times when people get to know each other better outside of work. However, there is also the potential for problems. Whether you are considering hosting a party or are invited to one, plan ahead to ensure that your party memories–and memories about you–are good ones.
1. Attendance is optional. Some managers don’t attend any parties hosted by employees since they may not want to–or cannot–attend all of them. Some employees may simply not want to socialize with coworkers they don’t much care for the rest of the week. In most cases, in spite of the fears of a few employees, you can say you have other obligations. (If you are the host, don’t push people to attend once they’ve said no. They have their reasons.)
Having said that, let me add this: Attending parties hosted by coworkers, employees or managers is a good way to show willingness to be part of the group and to build better relationships. Don’t automatically say no. If you’ve had bad experiences in the past, use some of the following tips to have a better experience the next time.
2. Be clear about the type of party and what to expect. If children are invited you can be fairly sure the event will be less problematic (at least in some ways) than if the invitation has a beer keg and phrases like, “Party ‘Til You Drop!”
If you are hosting, remember that a party can be merely a time of relaxed conversation and some food and beverage (even non-alcoholic beverage). It doesn’t have to be a bacchanalia with conga lines, limbo dancing, wet t-shirts and embarrassing toasts.
3. Leave while things are still fun. The fact that the invitation says, 7:30-?????, doesn’t mean you have to stay until ?????. Many people find it more fun to make a brief appearance, mingle with purpose and leave when they see that things are either getting rowdy or losing sparkle. You can usually tell when it’s time. If you’re hosting, don’t plan a big activity for later in the party because some of your guests will probably be gone.
4. Remember that you’ll be working with everyone after the party. What happens at the party will not stay at the party. How do you want to be perceived back at work? It’s possible to have fun while still keeping in mind that once a business-like relationship is destroyed it can’t easily be regained.
5. Keep some basic warnings in mind:
- Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want photographed or taped surreptitiously and sent to others by email. (And don’t be the kind of snake who would do that!)
- Keep your conversation light and able to be quoted without coming back to haunt you. If you’re a manager you can bet that anything you say that is flirtatious or risque or that sounds like inside information about work will be quoted and misquoted, so censor yourself. (I certainly have been burned enough to know about that!)
- Don’t talk about work, except in the most general way. It takes the relaxation out of the party and is boring to most guests.
- Don’t make the mistake of thinking that work hierarchy doesn’t apply at parties. Of course it does!
- Participate. Walk from group to group to say hello and introduce your guest. Don’t stand in the corner people watching–it looks rude. If you don’t want to be at the party, don’t go, but don’t attend then act miserable or aloof.
- Get outside your usual work clique and mingle with everyone.
- If you bring your spouse or partner, swear to each other that you will present the image of a happy couple. No bickering, arguing, flirting with others or showing your unloving feelings. If you can’t keep it together for a couple of hours, you should stay home.
- Demonstrate your social graces and social adeptness. The repercussions of bad behavior can be severe. The memories of you being a gracious guest or host and a pleasant person (even if you feel you are behaving a bit more bland than normal) will remain in the minds of others for a long time.
September 3rd, 2011
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TLR |
Food, Fitness, Fun, Life and Work |
5 comments
Identify someone at work who is credible and respected, at about the level of your job position, but with whom you have not communicated very much–maybe because you just haven’t felt enough of a connection to make the effort.
This week, purposely talk to that person for a few minutes. You can even tell him or her why you’re doing it: “I suddenly realized I rarely do more than nod or say hi, so I thought I’d stop for a minute.”
“Even though our jobs are different, we have some of the same customers, it seems like a good idea to do more than nod once a year!”
“The way things develop, we might be working together sometime, so I wanted to stop and say hello.”
“It seems like we hardly ever get a chance to do more than say hi, so while we have a few minutes I thought I’d better take advantage of the opportunity to see how work is going for you.”
You may find that one short conversation will last you (or them) for awhile! But, you may also discover someone who shares some of your values, seems interesting in general or who could be a good resource for you or someone else you work with, or you for them. It’s not calculated networking or aggressive friending, it’s purposeful out-reach.
You probably nod to a dozen people a day who you have never really gotten to know. They don’t know you either. Sometime in the next two or three days–don’t wait longer–make it a point to do more than nod.
August 20th, 2011
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Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers |
4 comments
In a February, 1942 Popular Science magazine I found this article and was intrigued by the first few paragraphs. The writer didn’t say, “J. Edgar Hoover never told us he intended to smash kidnapping rackets or stop murderous gunmen, but that’s what he did.” Instead he uses each promise Hoover made to illustrate the point of his article: J.Edgar Hoover says we’re prepared and you can trust him.
Whatever flaws might have been disclosed about Hoover later, the fact was that he and the FBI made our country more safe at a time when crime sprees by vicious criminals and their gangs were to the level of domestic terrorism. He was respected as well as feared, because he kept his promises.
J. Edgar Hoover did two things you should do:
1. Make promises. Say what you will do and when. “I’ll have that to you by 8 a.m.” “I’ll get it done the way you want it and have it to you for review before Friday.” “We’ll take care of this for you.” “I’ll take care of that problem.”
2. Keep your promises and remind people that you did. “Attached is that write-up, as promised.” “I said I’d get that to you by Friday but we worked extra hard and have it for you today.” “I knew you were upset about that situation, so I worked on it with Jim and I’m happy to report that it’s been handled and you won’t have to deal with it again.” “I told you I’d get this approved for you by this morning and here it is”
Say the words, to let people know that you came through not only as promised but because you promised.
Repeated broken promises are usually considered lies
Many people toss out promises they don’t ever intend to keep. “Sure, I’ll get that for you!” “No problemo, it will be done next week.” “I’ll take care of it.” Then, when the requester asks them about it on the due date, there are heavy sighs and excuses for why it isn’t yet done.
If you remember that a broken promise is viewed by most people as having been a lie to begin with, maybe you’ll get motivated to live up to what you promised. If you simply can’t fulfill your promise, at least let the person know the reason for your delay and get the work done ASAP. However, make sure your reason is more than, “I got really busy.” Or, ”Yeah, I know it’s not done yet, but it wasn’t really my fault.”
Look for chances to give your word, then keep your word.
Let people know, through your commitments and the way you live up to them, that you are someone to trust–no matter how they might feel about you otherwise. One day you may not be able to deliver on a promise, but by then you will have a long history of dependability to your credit. What you’re after is to have someone say, “If he promised to have it, you don’t need to worry, it will get done.” Or, “She says it will work out fine, and if she says it you can believe it.” Sounds good, doesn’t it?
August 7th, 2011
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TLR |
Law Enforcement Related, Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development |
4 comments
Think Before You CC
This may seem to be my One Tune Topic for the last few months, but it seems that it cannot be emphasized enough. Consider these snippets from emails, all which were copied to several people (some not even part of the organizations involved.)
•”If you don’t have the skill to do it, at least send it to someone who knows how to do their job and stop wasting my time.”
•”Your email makes no sense at all. Rewrite please.”
•”I have tried to resolve this situation amicably only to face your nastiness time after time.”
•”I reviewed the work of you and your committee and frankly am amazed that you would consider this to be the quality I expected, especially from someone who is supposedly trained to do this kind of thing. If this is an example of your work, we need to be talking about getting you some additional training. There is no way I could list the problems in one email, so apparently I will have to take the time to meet and work on this with you. I’m available Friday afternoon but after that will be gone for two weeks, so let me know if you can meet then.”
•”Re: Your request to attend the conference. No.”
I’ve changed some details in those emails to protect the organization and those who sent the examples to me, but they are all essentially real. How would you like to be CCed on those? How would you like to be the recipients? How does it present the sender? Will any of them improve things?
What If Nothing Else Is Working?
In one of the examples above I was blind copied but several others were obviously copied. I immediately called the sender to register my dismay. She said, “Well, nothing else has worked and I figured if I embarrassed her maybe she would finally do something.”
Do you think that will happen? Even if it does, will the damage ever go away completely?
If the performance or behavior of an employee you supervise concerns you, talk to the employee directly by phone or in a personal email. No employee I’ve ever met develops a more positive approach to work as the result of being chided in a message that is copied to others. If the thing that concerns you is something that others need to be reminded of as well, handle it with a training approach for all, after you have dealt with the other employee personally.
If a coworker is the source of frustration or anger, talk to your manager or supervisor and be factual about what is concerning you. If you CC your manager in an unpleasant email you may find that both the employee and the manager resent your method of informing. That doesn’t mean you should ignore problems, it just means you should be direct not sneaky.
If you have something unpleasant or discomfiting to say to anyone, say it to them alone. Don’t wait until you are in an email “room” and bring it up. Have you noticed how brave or tough people can be when they are showing off for others!
“Look what a tough leader I am?” “Look how direct I am.” “See how I tell people where I stand?” “Notice that I don’t take anything from anyone?” “See how saintly I am compared to that other person?” Those are the underlying messages conveyed by unneeded CCs.
If you receive an awkward, embarrassing or inappropriate copied email, let the recipient know you would prefer to not be included on such things. If those who CC were told it was unnecessary or uncomfortable they would be far less likely to preen over their rough and ready approach. If you are a manager, stop such copying when you see it happening. If you are a subordinate, consider doing what one employee told me about: He wrote back directly to the manager and said, “I don’t think I was supposed to be included in that correspondence, but I want you to know that I have deleted it and won’t say anything about it.”
Whatever you do, don’t even inadvertently encourage the kind of rudeness that is the hallmark of unnecessary CCs or BCs.
The bottom line: There is a time for putting your concerns or frustrations in writing. Not all unpleasant mail is inappropriate. However, when you intend to correct someone or negatively critique their performance or behavior, think, think and think again before copying others. There may be rare times when it is needed, but most often, it is not. You and your reputation and effectiveness will be diminished in proportion to how many people you CC unnecessarily.
August 1st, 2011
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TLR |
Challenging and Problematic People, Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers, Supervision and Management |
5 comments
A supervisor shared his experience: “I would like to ask employees their thoughts about problems or just about work issues, but it comes back to haunt me every time! Sometimes their ideas are so lacking in reality that I can’t help but get irritated. Worse is when I get five ideas from five different people and all of them complain because I didn’t take their advice!”
It sounds as though that supervisor could use some new methods for how he asks for input from employees and how he uses it.
Asking for input the right way.
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Pick the right time. Don’t expect the most effective input when someone is just walking in the door or getting ready to leave or if they are very busy. Consider scheduling the time.
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Ask for thoughts or ideas, not for advice. Advice comes with an expectation that you will take it or reject it. Thoughts or ideas are simply expressions of opinions to add to someone else’s thought processes.
- Ask for thoughts not rants. Sometimes a general “what do you think” is OK, but try to focus the remarks of the employee toward the information you are seeking. Don’t reward people who are known for arguing or getting angry, by implying you like that behavior. Not, “Greg, if anyone can find the flaw in this you surely can.” Or, “Lisa, let me know what you hate about this idea.”
- Give people time to think about it. Most of us can quickly produce a half-baked idea. However, have you noticed that your best thoughts come after a conversation? Give people a chance to cogitate about the subject in which you want their input–even if only for a few minutes. Email or call ahead. Or, do as Captain Rudy Phannenstiel used to do with me: “I’ve got to make a phone call but I’ll be done in about fifteen minutes. Be thinking about this and I’ll get back to you.” He always did and I had ideas ready! (Surprise, huh?)
- Let them know how you’ll use their thoughts. Make it clear that you’re getting several ideas and want theirs as well. Or, perhaps you just want to hear someones philosophy about a topic–say that too. Don’t promise that all ideas will be used or that you’ll make a choice based on suggestions. Just listen.
Responding to input and using it.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say you’re better off not asking for input at all than asking for it but not acknowledging it–but that’s near to the truth most of the time. Your response to input and how you use it are key issues that can make getting input a positive or negative experience.
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Whether you agree or disagree, acknowledge that you listened and heard. A few simple statements can let people know that you have listened and heard. “That’s good for me to know.” “That’s a viewpoint I need to hear.” “This gives me something to consider.” “Interesting way to look at it. Thanks.” ”Hmm. I’ll add that to the opinions I’ve gotten from other people. Thanks.”
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Emphasize positive aspects of the conversation. “I was wondering what you thought about it, so thanks for letting me know.” “I’ve asked several people and I wanted to be sure to ask you.” “I think of all of you as the best resources I can have.” “I’m lucky to have someone with your background here.”
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Make notes so you can remember. A month from now or next year, it will be good to have a few reminders about ideas you’ve received or the opinions of employees or others. Take the time to send yourself an email or make a file folder, if you asked for thoughts about something significant.
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Follow up, even if very casually. If you frequently ask for input you don’t need to send a thank you note each time you listen to an employee. However, you can certainly make the effort to say a quick thanks. “Thanks again for your thoughts today.” If someones ideas were a large part of your deliberation or if you used their ideas or suggestions, put it in writing.
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When possible, reflect employee input on performance evaluations. Use your notes to remind you and them that you value their contributions. A few sentences is enough, unless the input was extremely valuable. “In this reporting period Cheryl was a helpful resource about several key issues. Among them….”
The bottom line: Look for chances to ask people with whom you work for their thoughts, opinions, experiences, concerns, observations, ideas–and now and then, perhaps, advice. Make it a positive process for you and for them. It’s a great way to strengthen relationships, learn more about others and gain insights you need for effectiveness.
July 26th, 2011
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TLR |
Life and Work, Supervision and Management |
5 comments
How Do You Look and Sound?
The concept of sounding and looking businesslike seems as though it would be appropriate for a business setting. Unfortunately, it nearly always translates to an unfriendly facial expression and a disinterested, bored or angry tone of voice.
Test it by looking in a mirror with a “businesslike” expression. See how robotic and cold you look? Hostile, even? Practice a phrase with what you consider to be a businesslike tone. Can you hear how curt and unwelcoming you sound? When there is no welcome in your voice, it doesn’t matter what the words are, you sound unpleasant.
Now, test yourself by smiling (not a grinning, just smiling) and asking, with a friendly tone, “How can I help you today?” Smile while saying, “I’m happy to be asked questions and I’ll also be happy to answer them.”
Whatever you say, say it with a sound that is encouraging and pleased to be asked for help, not discouraging and irritated that you’re being bothered. You will feel differently and sound differently. You will certainly make a better first–and lasting–impression. (This applies to your internal customers at work as well!)
July 7th, 2011
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Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers |
4 comments
Two pages of instructions for
this new concept.
I found this article and some similar ones, in a 1934 issue of Ladies Home Companion. (Enlarge the page to read the text if you can’t do so. It’s interesting!) Thermostats on gas and electric ranges were still relatively new and many cooks resisted using them.
When my mother moved to Georgia in the 1930s, her mother-in-law (my grandmother, who I don’t remember but who, by all accounts, I would not have liked) had a two-burner propane gas range with a small oven. It was used for storing pans because she was convinced it wasn’t good for cooking, certainly not baking. Not when she could much more easily adjust the amount of coal in the tray under the coal oven.
What technology at work still requires you to call for help every few minutes?
For many people there is a tendency to resist learning anything that requires very much mental effort (I’m that way!) And, there is often resistance to trying to learn a process that is taught in a manner that is more confusing and demeaning than it is helpful. But, if there is equipment, technology or processes at work that all employees are expected to use regularly, commit to learning to do that part of your job effectively and efficiently.
It makes anyone sound ignorant, old, lazy and/or ridiculous, to hear them say, “I can barely turn on a computer, so I don’t check my email very often.” “Liiiiiiiisssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Can you load the paper in the copier?” Or, “Could you help me right away??? I have to open a file in email and I’m afraid I’ll delete everything if I start messing with buttons or keys or whatever you call them.”
It’s 2011 and we’ve all gotten used to adjusting the thermostat on ovens (even the ones I consider to be completely counter-intuitive.) We no longer stand and stare with wonder as the microwave heats a cup of water. Most of us can use at least 50% of the capabilities of our phones. We’ve acquired a lot of technological saavy. We should be past expecting someone to bail us out every time we need to unjam a piece of paper, save a photo, use email, or any other routine aspect of our work. (This advice does not necessarily extend to setting the clock on your electronic equipment at home.)
June 26th, 2011
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TLR |
Life and Work, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers, Training, Technology, Blogs, A/V etc. |
3 comments
Rich Kelly, a wonderful man, good friend for years and an inadvertent philosopher, commented ruefully the other day, “If my timing was only ten percent better my life would be completely different.” Rich, that was profound and has kept me thinking about the idea ever since!
Rich is well-respected and has achieved a great deal in his life, so I know he has been in the right place at the right time on many occasions. However, there have almost certainly been situations when things would have turned out much differently if his timing about a decision or an action had been even slightly different. What about you?
In 1998 Gwyneth Paltrow starred in a romantic comedy-drama called, Sliding Doors. We see two versions of her life simultaneously. In one she catches the subway and goes home and in the other the subway doors slide shut just before she can get to them, so she has to wait for the next train. It’s a very interesting movie, (although more likely to appeal to women than to men).
What aspects of your life were the result of arriving or leaving just when you did? What might have been different if you had done one thing instead of another? Have you ever made a decision that seemed insignificant at the time but proved to be colossal in its results?
Several come to mind for me:
*Buying the Rocky Mountain News to look for a used sewing machine and seeing a classified ad that said, “Denver Police Department now hiring policewomen.”
*Walking down a hallway and meeting someone who later came to know someone who knew someone who knew someone else who became a much-needed resource.
*Calling a high school friend on a whim, which resulted in a newspaper story and unexpected contacts that enriched my life tremendously.
Most of the results of timing in our lives are never known–we simply live with them. Nevertheless, it’s fascinating to track back and consider pivotal moments, especially when you realize one of them could happen today.
June 18th, 2011
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TLR |
Life and Work |
8 comments
Is Ownership Part of Your Character?
The history of an inspiring company culture: In 1946, the Wyoming Farm Bureau organized an insurance committee to see if it would be feasible to establish an automobile insurance company for its members. The idea became a reality and for 60 years there has been a great multi-line insurance and financial resource available to people in Wyoming and Montana. I have had the privilege of working with Mountain West Farm Bureau Insurance on several occasions. I was first introduced to the great team there by Cindy Romero, Vice President of Operations, in Laramie, at their handsome–even though windswept–headquarters. I’ve also enjoyed working with Jeff Suloff, Vice President of Claims.
CEO Roy Schmett, one of the other many nice MWFBI people I’ve met, speaks of the Mountain West culture with pride. It’s a culture that we would be wise to hold and represent in all we do. It includes: Honesty and Integrity, Teamwork, being Solution Driven, and the component that particularly impressed me: Ownership. Here is what Mountain West Farm Bureau Insurance says about that concept (I’ve added some italics to emphasize the parts that would be so refreshing if we found it in others and if we developed it ourselves.)
Our organization is only as successful as the people who comprise it. To be successful, we show up and go about our work without coaxing. We do what we say we will do, and we finish what we start. We accept total accountability for our behavior and never blame someone or something else for our actions or our results. We own the work we process, the problems we encounter and the relationships in which we are a part. Our fellow employees, agents, members and policy holders can always depend on us to be there for them.
Does that describe you? Every person you supervise? Your team or work group? You know you have work to do if there is a lot of talk that sounds as though people see themselves as victims of the system, the organization, customers or clients or unpleasant coworkers. Those are valid concerns, but a sense of ownership and appropriate actions are needed to find solutions.
If you drive into Laramie from I-80 you will see the Mountain West Farm Bureau Mutual Insurance company building. It’s the work home of some great people who are working to keep the culture of ownership alive and well. You and I should be doing the same thing!
June 9th, 2011
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Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers |
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