Use a GPS System to Help You Stay on the Road to Wealth
As I was reading the old magazine pictured above, I thought about the fact that the article could have been written today. Money, and what money can buy, has been part of life forever. What tends to change for us as individuals is why we want money.
It seems we go through stages in our lives: First, we want money to buy fun things, then to establish ourselves, then to support the family infrastructure (and that’s a good word for it, because it becomes an empire of sorts!) then to provide peace of mind, and finally to make being old and ill easier financially on ourselves and others. That’s about the most depressing thing I have ever written! But, I think it’s true for many.
It doesn’t take a financial wizard to determine that our economy is not going to be glowingly healthy in the coming years, and neither will your financial well-being if you are not careful. The money you make will have to go further, because prices are going up faster than your salary. Having protection against loss of income and changes in benefits and retirement programs, is more critical than ever. Medical care is truly a challenge, and if you become really ill, it could be devastating to your family’s future.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be so gloomy, and you can have peace of mind as well as making fun purchases now and then. But, unless you inherit a chunk of money, you will have to make it happen with what you have, where you are.
One of the best programs I have seen for tracking money and helping you to visualize where your money is being spent, as well as recommending changes and even advising about which bills to pay off first and how to do it, is Mint.com. It is interesting and user-friendly. It is also safe and well respected among programs of its kind. I don’t get paid to talk about it–and if you have something better to use, use it. I just thought I’d mention it because I have heard so many people mention it positively, and I’m going to use it myself.
This link will take you to the page that demonstrates the site. Check it out. It is particularly worthwhile for young adults and those who are still in their peak earning years, but it’s useful for maximizing limited money later, too. It’s not just a map, it’s a GPS system that helps you monitor a variety of issues.
It is never too early to get on the road to financial stability, and it is never too late to get off the road that takes you where you do not want to go. Try Mint. com, or at least read some of the articles, to help you manage better in any economic environment–but especially in the next few years.
September 16th, 2008
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TLR |
Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development |
3 comments
When your past catches up with you, or you catch up with your past. Last month a woman was photographed after paying $53,000 to have puppies cloned from her former beloved pet. When her photo circulated around the world, several people came forward to accuse her of crimes dating back thirty years! She is facing a number of charges right now, although some of them have been dropped because of the statute of limitations.
You may also recall several cases in which people on 12 Step Recovery programs have contacted people to seek forgiveness and make amends (Step Nine) and been charged and tried for the crimes they committed. In one case the man admitted to a lesser crime but his victim claimed something more serious and he was found guilty of that crime.
In the first situation, the woman’s past caught up with her and she is desperately trying to claim that it was not her. In the other situation, the people brought their pasts into the open in an effort to make things better–not always successfully. What they have in common with many of us is that they would like to erase the parts of their past that are now so humiliating or troubling, or that are creating trouble for them. One man who sought forgiveness for stealing money from his workplace thirty years ago said, “That was another me. The me I am now is ashamed, disgusted and repulsed by what I did.”
Have you ever felt that way? Not about something criminal I hope, but about something you wish you had not done, or swear you would never do now? Have you ever remembered something you said, did or thought years ago–or only months, weeks or days ago–and wished you could erase it? You cannot, and neither can those who are aware of what you did. So, is there any way to make it better?
1. If you can apologize without causing emotional pain or embarassment, do so. If you had a bad relationship or did unkind or ill-judged things, or if someone else “knew you when”, and you wish they had a better memory of you, perhaps you can discuss it with them and feel some forgiveness or at least understanding. That is not always a kind thing, however–and you may find it makes the other person feel bad while you are trying to feel good.
If you do not feel you can apologize or if you think it will create more hard feelings, consider re-contacting that person and focus on establishing a better relationship this time. They may think there are things they need to apologize about as well! Or, if it seems you can talk about it, mention your poor judgment and talk briefly about the old you and how you regret what you did. Sometimes one sincere sentence like that can bring resolution to both of you, without creating even more discomfort.
2. Commit to your new, better and more mature life. Perhaps you were wrong or used poor judgment back then. LIve your life now in the best way possible. Think of what you want to say about your life in another year. Will you be proud of your work and life this year or will you be wishing you could erase it?
3. Do not make excuses for yourself. It is true that you are probably no worse than many others. It is also true that no good comes from beating up on yourself mentally about relatively minor things from the past. However, do not fall into the trap of convincing yourself you really have no reason to feel remorse or regret. One way you know you have matured and improved is that you see what you did wrong and what was unwise, and you feel badly about it.
4. Be your own parent or counselor. If a friend or your child came to you with the situation you are thinking about, what would you suggest they do? You would probably tell them to try to make it right, and if that is not possible, to simply promise to do better in the future and live up to the promise. That is what you can do as well.
Whatever you did decades, years or months ago, you do not have to do it again. You can be a better person, and a person for whom you have more respect. If you do that steadily, consistently and whole-heartedly, you will be able to see yourself as different than that old version of you was, and others will see you differently as well. Now and then you may find someone who remembers the old you. Let them hear and see the new you, and stick with it. The new you–the best you–can be the real you!
September 7th, 2008
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TLR |
Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development |
7 comments
“Physician, heal thyself.”
This post certainly comes under the heading of “do as I suggest, not necessarily as I do.” But, how can we justify not trying to help others avoid the mistakes we have made? In this case, I feel like Jacob Marley telling Scrooge, “It’s too late for me, but you can save yourself!”
(Incidentally, in the New Testament of the Bible, in the book of Luke, Jesus said he expected to be told the proverb, “Physician, heal thyself.” That says to me that people have probably always given advice they do not apply to themselves. Since Luke was a physician, I suppose he picked up on that before anyone else would!)
So, I’m not being hypocritical when I advise you, ask you, plead with you, and, if it will help, command you, to start leaving work on time.
Why do you stay at work after quitting time? If you stay more than a very few minutes after quitting time, give careful consideration about why you do it.
*If you do it because you have so many things left to do, challenge yourself–order yourself–to delegate some of it, stop doing some of it, or discuss it with your manager and see what might be eliminated or reduced to allow you to leave on time. Do not even let yourself think that it is impossible. Make the assumption that it is possible–especially since the person before you and the one following you will probably manage to go home on time!
*If you do it because you are a poor time manager during your work day, learn better skills, and discipline yourself to stick with them. As long as you let yourself think you can tack a couple of hours onto the end of your work day, you will dally when you should be doing.
*If you do it to impress people, you can stop now. If employees or others respect and like you, they will continue to do so if you go home on time. If they do not respect and like you, they will think you are a dope for having to work so late. (As someone once said about me, “I don’t see what’s so great about her taking ten hours to do a four hour job.”) (Ouch!)
*If you do it because you feel fearful or guilty about leaving on time, ask someone you trust if they would think less of you. Ask an employee if it makes his or her work easier when you stay late. Or, ask your boss if he or she will be angry if you are as punctual about going home as you are about coming to work. You know what the answers will be.
*If you stay late to socialize with others, that might be semi-acceptable. But, really, you all need to go home. If you decide it is fun to stay later to chat, at least turn off the computer and be ready to walk out the door the minute you have finished your after-work social time.
How to break the staying late habit: (I have had to glean this information from others, since I was never very good at it myself!)
1. Make a commitment to do it. You say you are good at self-management–prove it.
2. Get ready for tomorrow an hour earlier. Most people who stay late do not even start thinking about leaving until leaving time. Be ready to go by getting things ready for the next day–when you probably will be there two hours early.
3. Make the thought of going home enjoyable. Have something in a crockpot; have a ritual of sitting on the patio with a glass of iced tea; go home to a fairly clean house; ask your family to help you by not confronting you with chaos every evening; look forward to hugging your spouse and children…or your dog or cat. (Actually, if you get a dog, you will have to get home on time to let it out, but that seems to be a high price to pay!)
4. Like any other habit you must break or make, stick with your plan for at least a month, until it becomes a firm habit. Remember your commitment. If you told an employee to be at work on time, you would expect him or her to find a way to make it happen. In this case, you are telling yourself to go home on time. Find a way to make it happen!
If you enjoy working, you have received a great blessing. Thomas Carlylse said, “Blessed is he who has found his work; let him ask no other blessedness.” It is an equally great blessing to be competent enough and confldent enough, to go home when it is time to go home.
OK. I’m outta here!
August 31st, 2008
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TLR |
Personal and Professional Development, Supervision and Management |
6 comments
Stormy weather: The tragedy and disruption created by Hurricane Fay, as well as by tornadoes, flooding, blizzards and all the other weather that hits our globe, reminds us that there are natural forces over which we have very little control. (Although we are finding out more every day about ways we can have some control as we protect our Earth!)
Usually our best options are to prevent the problems that we can prevent, be as prepared as possible for anything that might happen, then work quickly to repair damage and regain stability.
Work is like that. You can control many aspects of it, but not all of it–and some of it is completely out of your control. The only things you can control are your preparedness for the things that are likely to happen and your responses to them, so they do not have the power to ruin your happiness and inner peace.
Your workplace mental and emotional preparedness kit:
1. A strong foundation of competence. If you are highly competent at your work, you will have evidence of your value and so will others. That alone can be a tremendous source of protection when things are going bad at work. It also helps you feel better about yourself–with something to base those feelings on.
2. A strong awareness of continuity. One of the things that can help us move past problems is being aware that “this too, shall pass.” The situation you are confronting right now may be making you miserable, but there is more to your job than that. There is more to your life than that. Consider the stable parts of your life right now, and keep those strong. They provide the continuity that will help you overcome obstacles and allow you to feel inward calm.
3. A strong feeling of confidence. Confidence is not just about positive self-image, it is about self-reliance, self-management and self-motivation. Confidence comes from within you and transcends temporary set-backs. Remember though, there has to be a foundation for confidence, otherwise you just have ego!
4. A strong sense of courage. There are times when courage can lead us to step forward and assert ourselves when it is needed, or to stand up for others. Perhaps your best display of courage will come when you can get showered and dressed, drive to work with a feeling of energy, walk into the office or workplace with a pleasant smile and greeting for everyone you see, and begin your work as though everything is perfect in your world. If you encounter arrows, knives or barricades, you just keep moving and focus on the future–there is one!
One of the best feelings you will ever have at work is when you are talking, walking, and working with competence, confidence and courage, building a continuum of effectiveness. While you are at it, give your support to someone else who may not be as prepared for the storms of worklife as you are!
Staying prepared and developing strength: I used the photo and story about snow for a specific reason–the same reason I used the word strong to describe the elements of a mental and emotional workplace preparedness kit: 1.) It is still officially summer, but I know winter will be here, and now is the time to prepare for it. 2.) We cannot have strength in any capacity without consistent efforts to gain and maintain it.
The Big Blizzard: In March of 2008, parts of Ohio were shut down with recurring blizzards–20 inches in a 24 hour period on top of other snow. (Denver had 23.8 inches on Christmas Eve, 1982, Buffalo, New York had 38 inches of snowfall in one day in 1995–so there is always some other record holder!)
The snow and high winds created damage and disruption that had a severe impact on millions of residents, and the economic toll on businesses and governments was also terrible. Governor Ted Strickland surveyed the damage and made a statement that not only was a hit with reporters, but stuck in my consciousness to the point that I wrote it on a card and put it near my desk. He said:
We will get through this. The snow will stop, the wind will cease, and the sun will shine.
But until that happens we need to be smart, take care of ourselves and attempt to be helpful to others.
That seems to me to be a great bit of advice for all the storms of our lives!
August 23rd, 2008
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TLR |
Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development |
7 comments
I was reading about the Olympic Games and was fascinated by information about the hurdle competitions. I couldn’t help but think that life is like that. (I am, after all, the daughter of Creola Kincaid Lewis.)
The article said a requirement for success is for the runner to be aware of the hurdle before he or she reaches it, then at the moment of jumping, forget the hurdle, look forward and keep running. What a wonderful analogy!
I did some research on hurdles as a result of that article and probably found out more than I wanted or needed to know about the activity! However, like all research, it was fascinating for many reasons–and all of them reminded me of life and career challenges.
When you can do a lot, don’t settle for doing less. As you would expect, runners prepare for the highest hurdles by starting with lower ones. But what I found most interesting was that once a runner is prepared for the highest hurdles they almost never go back to the lower ones just to keep in shape. To do that would hurt their muscle memory and give them a false sense of security. That is like our lives: Once we accept the challenges of responsibility we need to look for even greater responsibility to keep our knowledge and skills well trained.
The time to get ready is before you get going. As I looked at photos of hurdle competitors I was impressed with their physical conditions. Their leg and thigh muscles are incredible, but they also need total body strength. They do not get in that kind of condition after the race has started! That also applies to our non-running world, If we wait until we face challenges, tragedies or even triumphs before we prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally, we inevitably will handle the situations less effectively. Every day is a training day.
You don’t have to clear the hurdles to win. Hurdles are weighted so they fall over if touched by the runner. But get this: There are no penalities for knocking over a hurdle. The problem is that the pull-over weight considerably slows down the run. Nevertheless, knocking over a hurdle doesn’t mean the race is lost. The runner just has to run faster afterwards.
One thing you will notice: Runners do not stop and kick the hurdle after it falls over. Nor do they stop to trip other runners out of anger or frustration. They keep looking forward and running. When we don’t clear a hurdle in our work we want to know why, and how we can avoid doing it again. But, we can do that better if we wait until there is a break in the action. Until then, we should keep going and make the next hurdle a brand new challenge.
Characterisitics of a runner with potential to be great in hurdle competetions: An article that discussed the characteristics coaches look for, listed these (See if they sound familiar for success in work): “Above average speed, light on your feet, have good stride length and excellent flexibility.” Wouldn’t that help us in almost every situation?
The Apostle Paul, in the New Testament of the Bible, said of his faith, “I forget what is behind me. I push hard toward what is ahead of me. I move on toward the goal to win the prize.” That applies to every race and to our lives and careers as well. You may be facing more than one hurdle today or in the weeks to come. Look at your hurdle, understand it and accept that it will be difficult, but keep your eyes on your final goal. If you have prepared and are as fit as possible for the race, you will clear the hurdles. And if you don’t, you can still keep running and you can end the race with a smile.
Incidentally, every Olympic game points out something else worth remembering: There is more than one medal. And, finishing honorably is reason enough to feel proud.
August 7th, 2008
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TLR |
Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development |
5 comments
I mentioned to my daughter and son-in-law the other day that I wanted to dot my i’s and cross my t’s on something I did. Casey said, with profound seriousness, “What if there aren’t any i’s and t’s in what you’re writing?” I said OK, I would change that to “I want to put in the commas and the periods.” Shannon said, “What if it’s Haiku?” We laughed for several minutes at how we could annihilate that old bit of advice. (Hey, there was nothing on TV.)
Not long ago I wrote a post about how inaccurate some advice could be in every situation–particularly the advice to praise in public and reprimand in private. I have received many emails about that, some of them agreeing and some disagreeing. The ones who disagreed were all referring to the problem of “chewing someone out” in public, which I agree is wrong.
One of the people who wrote to me said his boss’s advice for everything is, “Never go over something you can go around.” He said his boss has that on his wall and quotes it often. However, that does not apply to all work situations. Another person said she had lived by a bit of wisdom for years, until she realized it no longer worked in her life: “People do not care what you know, until they know that you care.” She said she had observed that people who had high levels of expertise and were merely decent to others seemed to do just fine. She felt she had emphasized caring for people to the detriment of her own self-esteem and success. I can see her viewpoint.
This week I was teaching about conflict management and a supervisor talked to me after class. He said, “My manager says that most conflicts are six of one, half a dozen of another, and that each person has a justifiable perspective. I guess a serial killer has a justifiable perspective too, but I don’t see why we should mediate with him.” Extreme, perhaps! But I agree with his concept. Not all contentious situations have two contributors, at least not initially. (You might recall that in another post I said we contribute to our own misery when we fail to do anything about the problem.) So, to keep pushing that view, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, is insulting to someone who has genuinely been victimized, bullied or treated discourteously by a coworker.
The bottom line is this: Do not just grab a quote, adage, old saw, aphorism or bit of advice and run with it forever. Check it out and see if it fits the situation you are encountering. The fact that someone said it does not make it right. And the fact that someone who said it usually said smart things, does not mean everything he said is correct. For example, Samuel Johnson, who seemed to say thousands of smart things, also said, “No one but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.” However, I do not make a dime off my writing.
OK. Bad example.
July 30th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development |
2 comments
