Tina Lewis Rowe

Be The One Who Makes Good Things Happen

You’ll hear these remarks often in meetings or business conversations:

“I wish we could do that.”
“Maybe we can do that one of these days.”
“I sure wish they would do that.”
“I’ll have to try to get that started sometime.”
“I don’t think there is anything we can do about that.”
“There’s no way I can make it better.”
“I’d love to help you, but I’m low level in the business.”
“It’s a good idea but I’m sure they wouldn’t approve it.”

What if the conversations sounded like this, instead:
“I’ll get started on it.”
“Give me a month and it’ll be done.”
“You have my word on it. I’ll make it happen.”
“I’m going to give it my best effort, you can bet on that.”
“I’ll do something about it the minute I hang up the phone.”

Putting Your Leadership To The Test

It seems that we toss the concept of leadership around a lot.  Many people read books on leadership, talk about it, lament that there isn’t more of it and fancy that they are leaders. In promotional processes, nothing is more common than to hear a candidate say he or she takes a leadership role. The interview panel thinks: “Oh yeah? What have you done that has led others to something good?”

So, that can be a test of your leadership in your corner of the world: What have you done lately to make good things happen? What you done to move an idea from concept to reality? What you done to facilitate, champion or do the tough work for a project that is worthwhile?

Of course, there are situations where we suggest or try and are told no. There may be good reasons for that or not. However, more often, we don’t even try–we anticipate the no. Or, we wait for someone else to make things happen, then we support them. Or, we procrastinate until after the holidays or after vacation or after the budget gets approved or whatever. If there is something you can help make happen–do it now. I used the photo above, of am Amish farmer plowing a field, because I am so often reminded that everyone wants a bumper crop but few want to get behind the plow, be the plow, or pull the plow.

Brian Hill of Mental Ammo Made Things Happen.

Last year I was contacted by Brian Hill, about conducting an advanced instructor class for his organization.  Brian also has his own website and does training and consulting. He didn’t know me and had no particular reason to ensure he made things happen for the training—but he did. On his own he made the contacts, did the convincing and set things up. Then, he followed through with all the details involved. He did an outstanding job and I appreciated it all very much.

Brian could have talked about the training for months or years. He could have said it was a shame the inspirational and fascinating speaker and trainer, Tina Lewis Rowe, hadn’t been asked to present the class. (I put that in bold, so a search bot might pick it up.) He could have put it on his “To Do” list and done nothing. Instead, he moved forward, made the effort and showed his leadership. And the class was great!

What Can You Make Happen?

It’s easy for us to talk big about what we could do, could do and might do. The big question is: What have you done and what is in the works? Another question is: What have you vaguely promised you might try to get accomplished but so far have done nothing about?

Starting today and in the future, you be the one who makes things happen.

June 18th, 2010 Posted by TLR | Assessment Centers and Interviews, Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers, Supervision and Management | 8 comments

KSAs and KSAEs

How Effective Are You? That’s What Counts!

You have heard of KSAs: Knowlege, Skills and Attitudes. Those are the Domains of Learning, developed from the work of Benjamin Bloom in the 1950s–and still being refined. The levels within each group provide the basis for learning objectives, lesson plans, tests, job descriptions and performance evaluations.

KSAs Aren’t Enough

You would think if someone could analyze, evaluate and create (the highest levels of knowledge), had mastery over work skills (the highest levels of skills) and consistently was positive and and focused on doing well (characterizing, which is the highest level of attitudes) that he or she would be successful at work. Unfortunately, as you know, there are people who fit all of those descriptions, but who nevertheless are not effective–and effective is what counts.

Someone was telling me about a coworker who is knowledgeable about many aspects of her work and skillful in many ways as well.  She is highly motivated and believes in the power of positive thinking.  The only thing that keeps her from being as successful as she would like is this: She isn’t effective. People don’t like to work with her; she creates problems wherever she goes; she is a source of irritation and frustration for many people. She doesn’t get more work done, she reduces the amount and quality of work. Another woman was described to me recently as being knowledgeable and skillful with a great attitude–but she sometimes seems disorganized and unfocused mentally and doesn’t inspire the confidence she merits.

I know a man who is a tremendous source of knowledge about many things. He has the talent and skill to write, speak, find problems and develop solutions and do a wide range of mechanical, mathematical and written work. He has a strong set of values from which he never wavers. But, he consistently has problems where he works because he is often engaged in a conflict with someone. He is viewed as ineffective and a liablity.

KSAs (Knowledge, Skills and Attitudes) must be supplemented with traits and behaviors in order to result in effectiveness. Certainly there are those who are so brilliant or talented that their weird traits or obnoxious behavior is tolerated. But even those people usually have effective staff who negotiate the contracts and soothe the conflicts stirred up by their clients.  (And you and I are not so brilliant and talented that we will be tolerated.)

Effectiveness is Habit-Forming or Vice Versa

The argument could be made that the traits and behaviors to which I refer are actually skills: interpersonal skills, communication skills, conflict resolution skills, self-control and self-development skills.  Or, that they reflect a lack of appropriate attitudes or an excess of an otherwise positive attitude. That is all true. But, some aspect of effectiveness involves style, approaches and habits. There is a reason the famous book refers to Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, rather than Seven KSAs of Highly Effective People.

Test Your Effectiveness

So, how can you know whether you possess the E to go with your KSAs? These are a mix of questions, but perhaps they can help you decide if you are being as effective as you’d like to be:

1. Are you achieving your professional goals or do you feel held back often?
2. Do you have the enthusiastic support of most of the important people in your work world?  
3. Can you point to significant accomplishments that matter to those above you in the business?
4. Do coworkers who are generally respected and not known for pettiness, distance themselves from you?
5. Do you get asked to help or do you have to push yourself into groups or committees?
6. Do you find yourself needing to self-market to overcome your reputation?
7. If most of your coworkers and immediate supervisors were asked, would they commend your work effectiveness?
8. Have others hinted to you–or come right out and said–that your work habits create problems for them and you?
9. Does it seems that the people who are most impressed with you don’t work closely with you–and those who are least impressed, do?
10. Do you get thanked often for how effective you are or do you have to tell people to make sure they know?

It could be that those who are least effective will not recognize their deficiencies. However, honest self-appraisal could help all of us find the areas in which we are least effective, even if we think we’re not as problematic as those people. Or, you may feel glad to consider how well things are going. If that’s the case, thank the people who are helping you be effective.

The bottom line: If you feel sure you possess a high level of KSAs but you don’t seem to be effective, put your focus on identifying and improving problem traits and behaviors. That is what allows your KSAs to become high levels of KSAEs.

June 10th, 2010 Posted by TLR | Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers | 8 comments

Keeping The Fun In Office Birthday Celebrations

Many offices have parties to celebrate birthdays. Some celebrate on the actual day while larger offices may have a party day once a month to celebrate for everyone born that month. Still others go out to lunch or do something else  in honor of the birthday person. (I tend to think the it’s mostly a way for everyone to take a cake break.)

As fun as these can sometimes be, they also can create problems that could have been avoided with a few guidelines, requirements and limitations.

1. Let employees develop the guidelines, using established criteria or with final approval by the manager.  It’s good to let employees decide about events that pertain directly to them, but the outcome is still the responsibility of the manager.

Sometimes employees aren’t thinking of the big picture or don’t have the insight to know what could be problematic. For example, a suggestion in one office was for each employee to take turns hosting an event–but that can’t be required and may not be possible for everyone. Another office wanted to do a fun “Old Folks Home” theme for an older employee. NOT a good idea. One group wanted to require a sizable monthly donation for parties.  And, I very clearly recall the disciplinary action that followed a Male Strip-O-Gram for a female employee’s birthday.

2. Keep celebrations as simple and inexpensive as possible. The more simple and the less expensive the party, the less set-up and clean-up time is involved and the less money has to be gotten from an office fund, individual contributions or the pockets of managers and supervisors.

Consider really tasty cookies, simple cupcakes, the least expensive source for the cake, a plain fruit tray or one that is made at work. Or, do as some offices do and eliminate a food event altogether, focusing instead on verbal and written birthday wishes.

3. Have equitable parties. It can be embarrassing and hurtful to have a giant party for Betty but only a few cupcakes in the break room for Barbara. Or, to take Bill to lunch but not do anything for Bob. The best way keep it even is to do about the same thing for everyone, every time. If the employee has special dietary needs, get a small serving for the honoree but the usual thing for everyone else.

There is a gorgeous office-wrapping display shown on this site (and I really like the site too!) It looks lovely and probably was fun. However, I am aware of a similar situation in which the next employee with a birthday ( a very nice person who was well-liked) arrived at work expecting something similar, only to find everyone had been too busy to do it. She shrugged it off in front if everyone, but it hurt her terribly and made the other employee feel badly too. 

4. Don’t let birthday celebrations become a reason for conflict. Many people do not like having their cubicles decorated or having similar complicated birthday activities.  Ask ahead of time if someone is OK with having the usual birthday celebration. If he or she doesn’t want the celebration assure them it won’t be a lot of hoopla. If they still don’t want it, don’t try to argue them into it. 

 I’m familiar with an office where they have a birthday bash for every employee, including the ones who don’t attend their own event–and invariably there is some negative talk about the person who didn’t want a party. 

In an office I visited not long ago the manager commented that one of the employees had taken her birthday and the day after off, knowing the weekend followed, to avoid having her cubicle decorated for her 40th birthday.  “What she doesn’t realize”, the manager said with a grin, “is that we’re just going to wait until she comes back, however long that takes.”  My response was, “Good grief! You’re concerned about conflict in your office. Why do you want to create another one for no reason?”  

5. Keep focused on the spirit of the celebration. It”s good to honor birthdays and to have a reason to smile and enjoy a break, perhaps with something good to eat.  However, like most things that are done with good intentions, birthday celebrations can create problems that outweigh the good. Keeping them simple, inexpensive, equitable and welcomed can help ensure success.

May 23rd, 2010 Posted by TLR | Food, Fitness, Fun, Life and Work, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers, Supervision and Management | 9 comments

Think Before You CC

Must You Copy Someone On That Message?   

Being able to send a typed message to several people at once is one of the great benefits of email.  However, many people misuse the benefit and make it one of the worst aspects of a great concept. 

Remember: Email doesn’t waste time. People misusing email waste time.

 Unless you have been directed, requested or begged to CC or BC a message, think before you do it.  Then, think again. There are certainly times when it is appropriate and effective. For example, when you are commending someone, want others to know about it, and want the person you are commending to see who you have copied. Or, when several people are working together and all must get exactly the same information.  However, often it is not appropriate or effective and makes you look badly.

You may add to email clutter.

Does the person you are copying really need to read the entire message? Will it help them do their work more effectively? When they said to keep them informed, did they mean they wanted to see all the emails about a subject as an “FYI”?  Instead of copying on every item, consider sending them a direct email with an overview of what is happening. If it’s not important enough to take the time to do that, maybe copying isn’t needed. 

You may seem to be trying to look impressive.

Are you mostly trying to show how effective you are? (Most of us have done that sometime.) Rather than making you appear saintly or impressive, the message may irritate or amuse those who are CC’d on it. They may not tell you, but mentally they may be sighing or rolling their eyes–or just hitting delete.

Instead of copying what you send to others, send a direct email to the person you want to inform about your work.  If you don’t think that would be effective or well-received, don’t CC on the messages either.

You may create or add to hostility

Will the original recipient view the CC as a way of tattling on them or emphasizing your status?  Your message can go from merely irritating to infuriating if the recipient thinks you are trying to get him or her in trouble or implying that you and the boss are in close contact.  Unnecessarily CC’ing a person higher up on a message can be like waving a red flag in front of the direct recipient.

You may stir up trouble

Is the message likely to create conflict? If you know or are reasonably sure that what you are sending will create negative feelings for those being copied or for direct recipients, don’t do it.  If you are venting and you only want the maximum audience, don’t do it. If you don’t have the courage to say something face to face, but you figure you can get by with it and sound tough by email, don’t do it.

If there is something going on that needs to be confronted, do it in person or by phone. If documentation is needed, follow-up with an email or an email with a document attached.

Some alternatives to CC

Instead of CC’ing someone, forward the original. Forwarding  allows you to add a message specifically for the recipient. It also prevents the recipient of the forwarded email from an awkward ”Reply All” , which sometimes happens on copied mail. 

If you CC, consider saying in the message why you are doing it.  ”I’m copying Bill on this, since he has to give approval next.” If you can’t think of a succinct reason for copying someone, don’t copy them. (How does this sound? “I’m copying Kristie, so she will see what I’m having to put up with.” Or, “I’m copying Chuck, so he’ll know I’m working hard on this project.” Or, “Kyle, I’m copying Vernon so you know I have his support. Nyah, nyah, nyah!”

Blind Copy, to avoid having all the recipients known.  When someone is blind copied their email address is not seen by direct recipients. This can be useful in many circumstances and is a valid action in some cases. However, it can have drawbacks as well. For example, it can seem sneaky, if the person you blind copied then writes directly to the person you were emailing or accidentally sends a “Reply All” message.  It is wise to send a direct message to the Blind Copied person telling them why you have done it that way.  (Forwarding the original can achieve the same purpose, without taking much more time.)

Make CC’ing a useful tool

Being able to send several people the same message at the same time is one of the great benefits of email. Use it unnecessarily or as a weapon and not only will your emails be dreaded by many people, you will lose credibility. Use it wisely and you will be considered efficient and effective by several people at once!

May 16th, 2010 Posted by TLR | Life and Work, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers, Training, Technology, Blogs, A/V etc. | 8 comments

Rah-Rah Meetings Are Often Nothing To Cheer About

The employees have their bagels and hot tea or coffee and they gather around the conference table for the weekly or monthly update meeting. After a few opening remarks the manager or supervisor says, “OK then! Let’s go around the table and share what we’re doing right now! Ava, you and your team are sure working hard on your new project, so why don’t you share some of that with the rest of us?”

Two hours later a bored and irritated group trudge out of the meeting, glad it’s over for another week or month.

That negative image is not meant to suggest that you should never have people share information about their work. There can be value in such meetings on occasion. However, think carefully before you make them a regular occurrence or end every staff meeting with a sharing session.  

The Pros and the Cons

1. Everyone gets a chance to talk about their accomplishments and the work they and their teams are doing.
Another view: Self-reporting is often inaccurate, especially if there is a feeling that the more work you report, the better you’ll sound.  Many people over-dramatize or fluff to sound impressive, get sympathy or justify not helping others. This is especially a problem when others know the person reporting only has a lot of things to do because he or she procrastinates or wastes time. Consider setting a time limit of one minute per person and not one second more. People only need to hear an overview list of what others are doing, if that. Managers should not need these reports to make him or her aware of the work being done.

2. Everyone can appreciate the myriad tasks involved in the big picture of work and how much every individual contributes.
Another view: Once you know that, you don’t need to be told the next month and the next and the next. Consider limiting sharing meetings to every six months or so.  

3. Team members may find areas of common focus or concern and perhaps can assist each other.
Another view: The role of a supervisor or manager is to be aware of what work is being done and to bring employees together in ways that will assist them. Consider teaching employees the value of checking with each other to see if someone else has expertise, experience or information. 

4. Managers and supervisors can see how employees interact with each other and how supportive individuals are of the team.
Another view: Rarely do managers do or say anything about how individuals act in meetings, either to commend or correct. They should, but they don’t. I don’t know of many (or any) managers or supervisors who have ever included meeting behavior in performance evaluations. Again, they should, but they don’t. Consider evaluating interactions that take place in other group formats.

5. The manager or supervisor can use the meeting to build the team and identify issues that need to be handled.
Another view: The reports are usually about what one person is doing or what that person’s group is doing, not about the overall work of the group or the organization, so they are not team-oriented. Rarely does the manager or supervisor do a closing that pulls all of the information together for the group, ending the meeting with a team focus. In addition, most issues that are disclosed in meetings are already known. Some meetings are called specifically to get known issues “out in the open.” Problems should be intervened about while they are happening or soon after, rather than waiting to have the problems vented in a meeting. 

6. The manager has an opportunity to commend in public.
Another view:  Some of the weakest, most embarrassing expressions of appreciation I have ever heard have been in meetings when a manager felt compelled to say something positive. Consider a private, sincere thank you. Show your appreciation in public by the supportive, friendly way you treat people and the occasional comment that others hear.

The bottom line: Meetings to share information about work have value when there are clear connections between what each person is doing an an overall task to be accomplished. There is even more value when the leader or a faciliatator briefly makes that connection for the group as each person talks. What I have found to be unhelpful and even damaging are meetings where many people talk at length about their current work and their To Do lists.  Those who like to preen about their work and lists of tasks seem to love those meetings.  Most employees dislike them and resent being required to participate.

Personal, direct and specific conversations will do more to build individuals and the team than forced sharing, with or without bagels and hot tea or coffee.

May 4th, 2010 Posted by TLR | Life and Work, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers, Supervision and Management | 9 comments

What Is Going On Around Here?

What is going on around here???

In your work place do you often hear that good work can’t be done or done on time because everyone is too busy? Do you notice recurring problems related to quality or quantity of work or the interactions between employees? Does everything seem to be a disorganized mess and it’s not because of creative productivity it’s because things are a disorganized mess? Do you often think that few things get done efficiently and effectively–they only get done painfully and with one crisis after another?  Conduct a work audit and find out what is going on.

You can apply this same concept to your own work when you feel you are bogged down, when there have been complaints or hints about a need for a improvement or when you just want to reevaluate your efforts and results. You can also use the concept when you want to have something specific to take to your supervisor if you feel there are problems outside your control.

Steps for a quick work audit

• Resist the thought that you know the problems already. If you do know what the problems are, you should be doing something specific about them.  However, whether you think you know what ails your work place or not, audit anyway to get a better look. One key benefit is that your conversations about it afterwards will let employees know you are aware of their work and their roles in the work place.  If you are looking at your own work, you can discuss it with your supervisor or manager to show that you are taking responsibility for your work and results.
• Identify the core job description or work requirement. What is the essential work that must be done? If the essential mission isn’t happening in the right way, there is a breakdown or failure somewhere or with someone, no matter how sincerely people are trying or how well other things are being done.
• Make a list of the people and processes that have the key roles in getting work done.  Focus on your own group but also consider where there might be weak or strong connections between your group and other areas. You may need to work with supervisors, managers or fellow employees in those areas to find solutions to problems. (Or you may need to find ways to work around those people, if they are determined to create problems.)
• Review, survey and evaluate, using quick methods that give you snapshot of work.

Re-read emails or memos about work issues.
Talk to a few key internal or external clients or customers to get their perspectives.
Make a list of the problems, concerns and complaints you have heard from individuals in the group.
Look at work statistics or work products and see if there are deficiencies.
Go into work areas to see what is happening.
Now and then stop to listen and closely observe. 

Those actions will not give you the thorough assessment you might want to do later, but they can quickly help you understand:

• The overall activity level of the work place and each individual employee.
• What the work environment looks like, sounds like and feels like.
• What is being done right now instead of work and how much time is being spent on that activity.
• What work methods you are seeing that may keep work from being done effectively and efficiently.
• The apparent attitudes of all levels about their work–employees, supervisors, managers, and others, based on what they say and do.
• The status of the complete picture of good work: performance that is high in quality and quantity and behavior that is effective and appropriate.
• Who is steadily working and who is not.
• Who is assisting and who is distracting.
• The end result of it all for clients, customers, users and others in the work chain. (In a short time you may get a very clear picture of why there have been complaints or grumbling!)

The bottom line: Improved effectiveness and efficiency and an improved work place starts with getting a picture of where things stand right now. Conduct a brief work audit to begin to find out. Take a few hours and briefly audit work–your own or the work of those for whom you are responsible. Then, get with each person for whom you are responsible and direct the immediate changes that are needed. Next, set a schedule for long-term improvement. It is possible to achieve that, so keep your focus and give others a focus as well.

March 22nd, 2010 Posted by TLR | Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers, Supervision and Management | 6 comments

Take Someone Along

Take A Guest To Meetings

If you participate in committees, groups, clubs or activities or attend organizational meetings that are appropriate and not confidential, consider inviting an employee or coworker along now and then–there can be many benefits for both of you.

*Employees and coworkers can expand their views of the organization and your role in it.

*It gives you and the employee or coworker an opportunity to communicate about general issues as well as the issues involved in the meeting or committee.

*It allows the employee or coworker to meet people within and outside your organization and to build a network for his or her professional development.

*It allows you the chance to observe the employee or coworker in another setting, and to discover strengths or developmental needs you might not know otherwise. (And they can observe you, too!)

*It lets employees and coworkers see what you do when you’re out of the office. Nearly always they find out you are not spending the time just having fun!

Lookout For Pitfalls

1. Don’t play favorites.  Try to rotate through the list of potentials unless there are events or meetings that would only be appropriate for one or a few people.  You might be surprised at the topics in which an employee would be interested.

2. Use social graces at the meeting. Arrive early so you can introduce your guest. Especially introduce him or her to the chairman of the committee or to key participants. It  makes everyone feel more valued. Provide the employee or coworker with handout copies and make sure he or she can follow the action (or inaction!) or the meeting.

3. Discuss the role of your guest ahead of time. That is especially important if he or she will be lower in rank or organizational status than others. If he or she will sit in an observer area while you must sit at a table, make that clear in a courteous way.  If you want the employee to feel comfortable speaking up during discussions, let him or her know that as well.

If your guest is someone you supervise, do not have them take notes for you, get coffee for you or anything else that seems menial and not part of a professional role. (At a specific group of meetings I used to  attend, the people who were there with the executives were referred to as “horse holders”.  As in, “We’ll have a seat or two for any horse holders you bring.”  I thought it sounded obnoxious and said so. No one else seemed to think anything of it, including the horse holders!  

4. Don’t gripe and complain.  You don’t have to lie or be insincere if you genuinely hate attending or if you have a deep conflict with another participant.  However, if you feel that negative, maybe you should attend and suffer alone. 

5. Be aware that your guest will be keenly aware of everything you say and do.  You’ll be forced to be on your best behavior. (That’s another advantage to having them there!) Be an example of how a productive meeting participant should talk and act.

6. Use the time after the meeting. Take a few minutes afterwards to get a cup of coffee or have lunch, if time is available.  Go somewhere inexpensive and pay for it–or not–but at least use the time to relax and get to know the employee or coworker better. Don’t use it as a time to gossip or for trying to get the employee on your side or impressing him or her with your accomplishments.

7. Follow up. Let the employee or coworker know meeting results or keep them informed about something in which they would be interested. Let them know that you might be available to attend a meeting they are attending sometime.  It would be good for you to expand your thinking as well.

The bottom line: You can only gain positive influence if you show through your actions that you are credible, dependable and valuable to those with whom you work.  You must also communicate effectively–preferably face to face. You can help to gain all of thsoe characteristics by including others when you attend meetings or gatherings, participate on committees, and take part in other activities related to work. 

Look at your calendar for the next few months and find meetings and events to which you can invite an employee or coworker.  While you are deciding who to ask, consider this thought by the writer, Nathaniel Hawthorne.

It contributes greatly towards a man’s moral and intellectual health, to be brought into habits of companionship with individuals unlike himself, who care little for his pursuits, and whose sphere and abilities he must go out of himself to appreciate.“

January 24th, 2010 Posted by TLR | Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers, Supervision and Management | 8 comments

Do You Need New Ways To Be Annoying?

I’ve sometimes wondered if the person who is driving me crazy is only that way in a specific setting (the one I’m in at the time) or if he or she is always that way. Fortunately for my peace of mind, I don’t consider the idea that I might be annoying as well. Highly improbable!

My friend Jeff Adams wrote a post last month about annoying airplane travelers.  I could relate to all of his descriptions–especially the passengers who hold up everyone else while stuffing their over-sized bags into the overhead  bins. Then it’s slam, slam, SLAM, while they try to close the door.

My neighbor, Larry Homenick, has a list of annoyances he encounters at casinos. (I don’t go to those places, so I’m taking his word on these). They include the Button Pounder, the Slot Machine Expert, the Slot Machine Hog, the Over-Your-Shoulder Starer, and the Childishly Excited. (Oh my gosh. Oh my GOSH! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!! I won two dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Last week I was checking out at an Office Max and the guy in front of me was so preoccupied talking on his cell phone, he couldn’t respond to anything the sales clerk was asking–the sales clerk was visibly annoyed and so were those of us standing and waiting. We all have stories like that nowadays. They are as common as the annoyances of having someone scrolling through email while you’re teaching or conversing; talking on the phone loudly, as though others want to hear or won’t notice, or forwarding silly emails or urban legends to you and fifty others.

There are traffic annoyances; personal habits that are annoying; repetitious words and phrases that were charming, witty or interesting the first thousand times the person said them, but aren’t anymore; inside jargon; annoying children, annoying sounds (whistling, humming, snorting, etc.) and a myriad of other things. (And saying we should overlook those things is annoying too. It’s always easier to tell someone to ignore an annoyance than it is to ignore the thing that annoys you.)

More ways to be annoying: In case you don’t have enough ways to be annoying, I’ll give you an excerpt from the list you may have already seen. I haven’t found out the correct attribution–the source listed by some sites hasn’t proven to be correct. Very annoying!

1. Learn Morse Code and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeeep, Bip, Bip, Beep, Bip, Beeeep…”
2. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
3. Sniffle incessantly. (Note: Or cough, pick your noise, scratch your arm, neck or face, etc.)
4. Insist on keeping your windshield wipers running in all weather conditions to keep them “tuned up.”
5. Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what YOU think.”
6. Follow a few paces behind someone spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
7. Finish all your sentences with the words, “in accordance with prophecy.”
8. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
9. Repeat everything someone says, in the form of a question. (Note: That’s why “active listening” techniques can be annoying.)
10. Demand that everyone address you as “Conquistador”. (Note: I knew a guy who wanted me to call him Tarzan, but it might not be the same concept.)
11. Stand over someones shoulder mumbling as they read. (Note: That’s still not as bad as standing behind a stranger and watching while they play a slot machine.)
12. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-worker’s minds. (Note: Like Mike O’Neill and Art Hutchison used to do to Gary Gosage with “Sh-boom, sh-boom. Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta, sh-boom, sh-boom…”)

I saw a sign the other day that undoubtedly is appropriate for all of us:

Sh-boom, sh-boom. Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta, sh-boom, sh-boom……

January 3rd, 2010 Posted by TLR | Challenging and Problematic People, Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers | 18 comments

What Excuse Will You Make For Them THIS Time?

Unacceptable  Excuses

* “Uh, Herman forgot to cover your car when he sprayed the paint on your house. Poor guy, he’s had a lot of problems at home lately, so I didn’t say anything to him. There’s no point in making him feel worse.”

* “You won’t be getting  your paychecks this month. We’re doing more with less over here in Budget, so Mathilda completely forgot about the payroll. She feels awful about it, but I can’t blame her what with all work we’ve had to do.”

* “I know Roberto promised your invitations would be done in time to mail before the wedding, but you won’t be getting them until the week after that. Just a snafu, you know how that goes! You’ll be on your honeymoon by then anyway, so the delay shouldn’t be a big problem, right?”

* “OK, so my guys forgot to put brakes in a few hundred cars last week. They’re only human and they make mistakes now and then. How come no one mentions the hundreds of brakes they put in like they were supposed to?”

* “I’m sorry about your incision coming open and your intestines falling on the floor. If you had double-checked to make sure we sewed you up correctly, maybe it wouldn’t have happened.  However, I’m not going to play the blame game at this point. The important thing is that it was a learning experience for all of us.”

Stop Making Excuses For Late Work, Bad Work and No Work!

For all the times supervisors and managers complain about the work or behavior of employees, in most cases there are a dozen times when they make excuses:

• “My guys are really busy.”
• “She’s got problems at home.”
• “We were under a lot of time pressure.”
• “She feels unappreciated.”
• “No one understands the stress we’re under!”
• “He felt frustrated.”
• “It was really your fault.”

If you care about an employee, work with them to help them overcome stressful or unpleasant circumstances by putting their focus on their responsiblities. You don’t help them or anyone else–certainly not yourself–by making excuses or lowering standards. (If that sounds harsh, consider how many times you have complained about getting bad service or bad work in stores or businesses–don’t you wish excellence had been the standard?)

If an employee can’t behave or perform correctly, teach him or her to do it the right way. Then, provide oversight and assistance to ensure quality work. An internal or external customer should not  be the guinea pig on which an employee practices. Do quality checks while the work is being done, not when there is a complaint. (Sadly, many of the things that diminish your reputation and the reputation of your group will never be formally complained about.) 

If an employee can do the work acceptably but doesn’t, apologize to the person who received the poor service or a poor product and make it right. You don’t need to apologize in a way that demeans the employee, but there should be no doubt in the mind of the client or customer that you are sorry and you will make it right in the way they want, if possible.  

If the problem involves conflict or poor service within the work place, look for the primary contributor rather than automatically saying everyone was at fault. Sometimes only one employee is creating the problem–hold that employee accountable rather than talking to everyone in a meeting or memo.

Don’t be too mild when you tell the employee about the problem. Many supervisors make the mistake of downplaying the seriousness of a work problem, as a way to help the employee save face or as a way to avoid conflict. However, when you talk to the employee, you should make it clear in what you say and how you say it that the behavior or performance wasn’t acceptable and that it must improve, starting immediately. Try to involve the employee in the actions required to make-up to the customer for the poor product or results. Consider The One Minute Manager approach, which calls for brief but specific conversations.

Support and praise good work and don’t accept bad work. Never allow a culture of mediocrity to develop. You owe that to your organization, the people you serve, employees who are doing the right things, the employee who didn’t do the right thing–and you owe it to yourself. The first time you hear an excuse, call it what it is and don’t accept it. There might be reasons that are justified–a needed item didn’t arrive, someone else didn’t do their work, someone was gone legitimately. Even in those cases, often someone could have prevented the problem if they had been on top of the situation.

The next time you make an excuse, let someone off the hook, back down, change a deadline, approve substandard work, or are too mild in your critique of bad work, think about all the times:

• When you have planned on an assignment being done and found out it wasn’t;
• When the work product was a big disappointment to you but you accepted it anyway;
• When you have been more worried than the employee about a problem;
• When you re-did something or got someone else to do it, but didn’t tell the person responsible;
• When you had to back-pedal and make excuses to someone higher than you;
• When you have had to smooth things out, field complaints or put a good spin on something;
• When you have taken the heat for something someone else failed to do or did poorly, and they didn’t even say thank you.

Aren’t you tired of that? If it happens tomorrow, what excuse will you be quick to provide? What excuse will you accept? Why should you accept any excuse at all, especially if even one other employee is doing good work with good behavior in the same circumstances?

How would this one set with you?

“Hey, I know you told Jake you wanted your tattoo to read,  ‘I’m a Lover’, but you gotta’ admit, ‘I’m a Loser’  is close.” 

December 16th, 2009 Posted by TLR | Challenging and Problematic People, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers, Supervision and Management | 7 comments

When A Coworker Is Getting On Your Nerves

Part of maturity and effectiveness at work is learning to deal with (translation: Smile, grit your teeth and tolerate) the behavior of others who have different styles, traits, habits and perspectives than yours. However, there comes a time when a coworker is negatively effecting your work or your mental or emotional state or when you are making unreasonable adjustments for their benefit. What can you do then? The answer isn’t the same in every situation, but some guidelines can be applied:

1. Make sure you aren’t part of the problem.  Could it be that the irritating behavior of others is a reaction to your own quirky behavior? If others have hinted to you or joked about something you do or say, or if you are well known for an approach that is irritating to others, face up to the fact that you might be part of the problem. Work to change before you work to change others. You may want to acknowledge your part of the problem to the other person and negotiate what you will both change.

2. Consistently and appropriately be clear about what what is bothering you.  Don’t expect someone to know you are upset if you ignore it most of the time, laugh or joke about it sometimes but only now and then act upset.

3. React in a way that is appropriate for the situation. Don’t react in a way that is rude, disruptive or hurtful.  When you fire back a nasty retort, use obscenities or rude gestures, or gossip and complain excessively behind somone’s back, you become the problem as well–and you lose the support you might have had. What you say or do will depend upon the severity and impact of the actions of the other person. You may say something with a reproving smile and gentle tone or you may have a frown and sound briskly adamant, according to the situation.

 Trying to suggest phrases is always difficult because there are so many verbal nuances that are missed, and you have your own verbal style. However, here is a mix of  mild, moderate and strong responses you might make.

“Stop. Stop. Stop.” (This can be said with a smile, a frown, while holding up a hand or while leaving the conflict, according to the situation. When you have the attention of the other person, talk directly but courteously about what is bothering you.)
“Uh oh, that’s getting close to being over the line!”
“Don’t.” (You may have to say it more than once, but often it is all that needs to be said.)
“That’s really distracting. Would you please stop?”
“Lisa, what caused that tone of voice?”
“I don’t understand why you did that. Tell me.”
“You sound upset, but I don’t know why. Are you?”
“How did you mean that the way it sounded?”
“You said that jokingly but I think you were serious. Were you joking or serious?”
“Greg, please don’t do that anymore.”
“That kind of remark makes me feel (how?).”
“Tricia, what would make you think I would respond well to that? I don’t. So don’t do it again.”
“That approach doesn’t work well with me, so you might as well stop it now.”
“Matt, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt about your motives, but this has got to stop. Now.”
“OK, I can see this isn’t going well. Let’s talk to (the supervisor or manager) and get this worked out, now.”

3. When your direct, appropriate communication doesn’t help the situation, get assistance. If you have communicated about a problem clearly and the coworker is aware of your feelings, but continues to do the same disruptive things, go to your manager, Human Resources section or someone else who can either advise you or assist you.  Don’t complain incessantly, vow revenge, play dirty tricks or seethe inwardly. Go to your manager and ask for advice or make a formal complaint, according to the seriousness of the situation. You will get stronger results if you write your concern or at least ask for a formal interview time with your manager, rather than complaining in a general sense but not asking for action to be taken.

 Be prepared to hear your manager sound less concerned than you are.  However, if you are told to continue to accept the behavior of the other person, courteously stand your ground and insist something must change–unless you feel you have no other choice in order to stay out of trouble yourself.  Many (if not most) managers hope a conflict or problem will go away so they don’t have to deal with it.  They are more likely to take action about something that effects work performance than they are about behavior. So, link the behavior to how it is effecting your work and the work of others or to the final work product.

Until you have directly talked to your manager, don’t make the assumption that nothing will be done. If you only complain in a general way or if you are a big part of the problem, you are less likely to get action.  But until you have tried to get help from a higher level, you don’t know for sure what will happen.

4. If the action continues, escalate your complaint but still stay appropriate. If you believe the situation merits it, write a strong letter requesting your manager investigate and intervene to ensure the behavior stops. If that doesn’t work, go higher. Take it as far as you need to take it, within reason for the situation. (Just make sure you are being a valuable employee at the same time.)

 The bottom line: Most problems between coworkers are never confronted openly and courteously, they are only complained about. Or,  the complaining employee will covertly sabotage the work or reputation of the other employee.  That is how conflicts develop and why they continue and get worse. You don’t need to be harsh to get your point across to a coworker whose work style or habits are bothering you. On the other hand, if you never say you are bothered, why should the other employee be concerned? As usual, honest but appropriate communication is the key to making things better.

Do you work with someone whose manner or actions disrupt, irritate or disturb you or make work more difficult? The situation won’t improve on its own, so do something effective about it–or at least try.

December 2nd, 2009 Posted by TLR | Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers | 5 comments