Correcting an employee the wrong way:
1. Making it seem like a personal attack. “You have such a crummy attitude about everything you do.” “We’re not here to make you happy.” “You’re the only one who can’t get it right.”
2. Mocking or humiliating the employee: Standing by the door with a clock when they walk in. Leaving a sarcastic note taped to their computer where everyone can see it. Talking about it to another employee. Making the employee feel she can never overcome the mistake.
3. Treating the error or problem as unimportant. “It’s not a big deal to me, and I don’t really care, but I’m supposed to tell people not to do that.” “I’m sorry to have to bug you about that report but we were supposed to have it done already, so could you maybe get it done?”
4. Yelling, cursing, showing extreme anger: “I didn’t ask you if it would be easy for you to do it, I told you to do it! Now get to work and do it or I’ll get someone who can, and you can do your whining in some other job! Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME????”
5. Not correcting at all: Avoiding talking to the employee about it until things are so bad that very serious action must be taken.
Correcting an employee the wrong way says more about the supervisor or manager than about the employee. No matter how frustrated you are as a manager, you will lose the respect of everyone–even the best employees as well as other managers–when you handle corrections poorly.
Correcting an employee the right way:
1. Correct in private unless there is a strong reason for other employees to be aware of the situation. Not long ago I wrote an article about times when reprimanding in front of others might be appropriate. You can refresh your memory here . However, those times are rare. Nearly always you should talk to an employee away from others.
2. Build a good working relationship through your actions. If you need someone to volunteer for a nasty job in the next few minutes, will your supervisory communications enourage it rather than discourage it? That’s one good way to approach each supervisory correction–leave an employee feeling that you are supportive of him and his best efforts, even if you are not satisfied with his work or behavior at that moment.
3. Take your ego and emotions out of it. When I hear of inappropriate remarks by supervisors or managers–or when I have made them myself–I can almost always sense the ego or emotions of the person involved. Anger, hurt feelings, impatience, fearfulness, or a desire to impress other people or to be witty or show one’s superiority–all of those lead to ineffectiveness and inappropriateness.
4. Be specific. Make sure the employee knows specifically what was wrong about his or her behavior or performance and what is needed instead. Ensure the employee knows how to do it right and is committed to doing it that way.
5. Fulfill your supervisory role effectively. Every human will make a mistake now and then. The goal of correction is to reduce or eliminate those times, while building a foundation for cooperation and effectiveness in the future. That goal alone can provide guidance for how to do it the right way.
October 26th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Supervision and Management |
4 comments
I was fortunate to be seated next to an incredibly handsome and charming man on the flight back from Dulles International Airport today. The time flew as we discussed our travels, art, the symphony and literature we have recently found intriguing.
OK, maybe all of that is a slight exaggeration. But, he was very nice and we had fun chatting off and on during the flight. Also, he was nice looking in a scruffy way, and only snored slightly as he sprawled in his seat while I read a boring book and watched the movie without the sound. His name is Mark Cantella and he works for SRAM, a company in Colorado Springs that produces bicycle components.
In comparison to my Prince Mark, there was also a loathsome toad on the plane. At least, he sure acted like one. I don’t know the man’s name, but he left a bad impression on everyone who observed him as he tried to put an over-sized carry-on into the upper bin. You know the scenario: He impatiently swung the large bag into the air–pushing other people aside in the process–and wedged it into the bin. Then, with a sour grimace and gritted teeth, he pushed, shoved, slammed the door and slammed it again and again and again to close it–to no avail. He looked very angry and blocked the aisle while he went through this process several times. Finally a steward came and helped him. But not before everyone around was viewing the man and his actions with disgust.
I think there is some great Cosmic payback for people who upset, disrupt and disturb others. One of these days he’ll chip a tooth on an ice cube or pinch his fingers in a drawer and he’ll wonder why. I know why! But the worse result is that his unpleasant behavior is probably habitual and today gave him more practice in being an obnoxious twit. That is why you and I need to be careful about letting ourselves show our worst traits, even now and then. Every time we do that we increase the chances it will become a habit.
Do this instead: The next time you’re tempted to be your worst self, purposely, intentionally and with focus, practice the discipline of being your best self instead. You know what your worst self is like and you know what your best self is, too. Being a toad only requires you to let all of your warts show. Being a prince–or princess–requires more. But the results for you and others will be well worth it!
Thank you, Mark, for a pleasant trip. YOU were a Prince!
October 22nd, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Life and Work |
5 comments
There is plenty or material in magazines and on the Internet about appropriate attire in workplaces of all kinds. In spite of that, many supervisors have the challenge of deciding what, if anything, can be done to improve the clothing choices of employees.
What is the link to work? As with most other issues, the first step is to find a link to the work being done. Does the attire violate a safety or business rule that is clearly established and published to employees? Does the attire distract customers or other employees? Would a reasonable person find it offensive or distracting? Is work negatively affected in some way because of the attire? Those are all key questions that not only can be used to explain a concern to an employee, but also provide the necessary link if there are questions later, or if a grievance is filed about an organizational action.
Use resources. Male managers are often concerned about saying anything regarding a female’s attire. However, it is a valid area for supervisors and managers to observe and intervene about. If you work in an organization that is large enough to have an HR section, consult them about the best approach. Get input from several sources when possible. Do not take immediate action about attire unless you have a clear rules violation or an obviously problematic situation.
For example, a male supervisor saw a female employee wearing a tight knit top that showed her anatomy in great detail. He called her aside and told her she probably hadn’t realized the top would be revealing, and he would give her time to go home and change. She argued a bit, but went home and changed and hasn’t worn that top again. Some might disagree with me, but I think it would have abdicated that manager’s role for him to scout around to find a woman to talk to the employee. It’s a supervisor-employee issue, not a male-female issue.
In another case, a supervisor was approached by several employees who complained about how offensive it was to have a female coworker wearing a sleeveless, very cut-out blouse, that showed a lot of underarm hair as well as lingerie. Without consulting anyone, the supervisor told the employee not to wear a blouse like that again. The resulting hassles lasted for weeks. The company eventually made the rule that females could not wear sleeveless blouses unless they also wore a sweater or jacket. (Many offices where females must reach or stretch a great deal have such a rule to prevent over-exposure.) If the supervisor had gotten assistance the matter could have been resolved more amicably.
Early intervention is easier. Attire is another of the many areas where the earlier and quicker you say something, the easier it is to deal with it.
- Say something the moment you notice someone is wearing something that is not appropriate or that presents a problem at work.
- Be ready with the link to work, so you can explain why you are talking about it with the employee.
- Keep your conversation to a few words and make it a gentle reminder.
- Take the approach that the employee will want to know his or her clothing, while it might be fine for time away from work, is not a good choice for work.
- Use as an example, something the employee has worn that is appropriate.
- Do not make a bigger issue of it than it needs to be. For example, even though it might sound like a good idea to later compliment the employee when she dresses appropriately, it will probably only result in more embarassment. Focus on work and compliment that if you are want to reduce discomfort.
What every employee thinks: At some point every employee has looked in a mirror at home and thought, “I look good enough to go to work and interact with coworkers, customers, clients and the public.” When you critique clothing you have also critiqued that person’s judgment about their appearance. That is what makes the matter so delicate. Just remember that if you approve poor judgment through your silence, it will probably happen again–and might be worse the next time.
October 15th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Personal and Professional Development, Supervision and Management |
3 comments
Whether we are talking on the phone or in person, people can tell if we’re not really listening. We indicate it in our lack of eye contact, our preoccupied tone of voice and our lack of responses to the one who is speaking to us. It’s very irritating and hurtful to someone when the person who is supposed to be listening is obviously not doing so.
That is why communications with customers and clients, coworkers, friends and family, requires effective listening. Active listening is a communications concept that includes restating the remarks of the other person to ensure accuracy of understanding. That’s a good idea–although not easy to do without sounding contrived. Another way to ensure understanding and to demonstrate our interest in what the other person is saying is to listen with intention.
- Look interested (without staring the other person down or glaring at them).
- Use encouraging comments (without being excessive).
- Ask questions (without sounding as though you are interrogating the other person.
Do you see a pattern there? Moderation is needed in listening as in everything else. You’ll know that if you recall talking to someone who made noises and exclamations throughout, or who made such close eye contact you felt uncomfortable.
All you have to do to listen with intention is to intend to listen.
Make a commitment to give people your undivided attention when they talk to you:
- Put down your work when a customer or coworker comes over to talk to you.
- Turn away from the computer when a subordinate or colleague needs to ask a question or discuss a concern.
- Don’t keep typing or browsing on the Internet when you’re talking on the phone–people can tell you aren’t really paying attention.
You’ll find you are better able to respond to people when you fully understand what they have said–and what they have not said. The nuances of communication can only be noticed when you are paying close attention–with intention. Try it and see how people react to having you obviously listening to them. Notice also how you feel when others obviously arent. Make intentional listening part of your customer service habits as well as your habit in building a positive relationship at work and at home.
October 10th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development, Service to Customers, Clients and Coworkers |
2 comments
An Instant Impact Thank You Note!
When class was done at the end of the Colorado Association of Chiefs of Police Supervisory Institute, I was gathering my training material and ready to go home. I had commuted over four hours a day for three days and taught a class of 40 about the crucial role that is fulfilled by a supervisor in any work setting and how they could each be more effective in that role. My mind was as tired as the rest of me!
As I was picking up my training material I found a name card with a note on it. I smiled then laughed, because the officer who had apparently sneaked up and left it on my table, Officer James Johnson, had reminded me of a big puppy dog that created havoc whether he intended to or not. He was a lot of fun in the class and added to it in many ways. (At least, he added to my enjoyment!)
I write and teach about Instant Impact Communications and Instant Impact Moments, and Officer Johnson’s thank you card is a great example. I often receive emails and cards from participants in classes or conferences, and I appreciate them tremendously and save them all. But this was immediate, fun and very personal. It made an Instant Impact! (And, I can assure you, every teacher or trainer needs encourgement!)
Consider this the next time you go to any meeting, conference or training where you have a name card: Write a note on it before you leave, to send a positive message to the person who put a lot of effort into the program–the speaker, instructor, coordinator or events manager. It will be a wonderful compliment for someone who is tired and hoping their efforts were appreciated. It will end the training time on a positive note for you as well!
October 9th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development |
7 comments
An update on this free church security material!
This document on greeters and ushers has now been updated and included in the larger document (really a small book) with the title: How to Assess the Safety and Security of Your Place of Worship. It’s a tremendously helpful guide that will take you through the process and allow you to really get to know the safety and security of your place of worship, as well as to plan for emergencies. Please contact me for the free PDF file, which can be freely copied and distributed, but not sold. Send it to anyone you think could use it in their place of worship. I’m happy to see it out and about as a free resource! Tina Rowe, May 8, 2009
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A Free 24 Page PDF: The Role of Greeters and Ushers in Church Security
The post below was originally published on January 12, 2008, and has resulted in over 1,800 requests for the document. (UPDATE: Over 2,500 as of May, 2009, from this site alone!)
That’s just the count of people writing to this site. There are several other sites who also offer it–some as a part of a subscription package for other things. (That bothers me, but I hope people will realize they can get it from other sources as well.) Several pastors have given it out at conferences and conventions, so I suppose it has been copied several thousand times by those people. I think all of that is both interesting and fun!
I have heard back from hundreds of pastors, security team leaders and others, and have enjoyed every message. I wish there was not a need for such material. But, I’m glad to be able to provide at least one piece of a security package.
I have also been asked to do presentations in several settings, and have done that on occasion, when circumstances made it possible. My underlying message is that planning is almost as valuable as the plan. There are some very good things that come from looking at safety and security systematically. It is never wasted time and effort. And, when done correctly, it is an energizing project for the entire church family.
Thank you for the contacts and your follow-up messages!
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Church leaders, no matter what the size or location of the church, have a responsibility to develop plans and processes that help ensure the safety and security of members, visitors and church property. This is made more challenging by the fact that church buildings and congregations may be targeted for violence, threats or disruption. In addition, church buildings have the same risks as other buildings about safety and security problems related to natural disasters, fires, mechanical and electrical failures and safety hazards.
One of the key components of a church security program is observant and responsive greeters, ushers and deacons. These front-line roles are often the first people to see or hear problems, and often have access to all parts of the building before, during and after the service. But sadly, many greeters and ushers receive little or no training related to the role they can play in observing, getting help quickly and providing leadership in an emergency. Even if you have a security team, greeters and ushers are often the ones who first observe a problem situation and must react appropriately.
Church Security Concerns: The Role of Greeters and Ushers is a free, 24 page PDF document, which can be copied for use in church security training.
•It provides a well-balanced, realistic approach that can help the meeters and greeters of churches feel more confident and be more effective in situations of concern as well as in emergencies.
•This document has been useful for pastors, church security teams and greeter/usher teams, as well as being a great resource for distribution by law enforcement organizations.
Topics:
The role of greeters and ushers in the area of church security (with or without a formal security team).
Awareness and response
Potential security concerns and options for action
A security self-evaluation checklist
This security information is a great addition to your church manual and should be part of the orientation training for all greeters, ushers, deacons and church leadership. Contact me for your FREE PDF copy of, Church Security Concerns: The Role of Greeters and Ushers.
October 6th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
*Free Church Security Material--In Word Format, Safety and Security Planning |
54 comments
Ouch!
When I got the phone call from a reporter, I was happy to hear from her. I had no idea the call would end with me shaking from anger and frustration! Have you had that happen?
I had been encouraged by several pastors to think there was an interesting story in the fact that, through people finding this site on a search engine, I have sent a free PDF on church security to almost every state, and to Canada, Mexico, England, Ireland, Scotland, Norway, India, China, Japan, El Salvador, Peru, Mexico, Australia, Nova Scotia and to far-away Texas. So far, over 1,800 copies–and I know that several other sites are also sending out that document.
I thought the internet and international angles might be interesting for a reporter. And, since I am also a member of HARO (Help a Reporter Out) a subscription that posts dozens of reporter requests a day, I truly felt I might be assisting a reporter with a story. I don’t have anything to sell, so I was not going to profit from it.
The reporter jumped on me with all four feet, almost from her first words, and let me know she didn’t agree with me. (She thinks telling ushers to get assistance rather than tackling a suspicious person, is creating a victim mentality.) She sounded quite angry with me for my approach to the subject, and I got the impression she resented me contacting her about it.
Finally–not soon enough–I said I was done arguing with her about it and we hung up with negative feelings. I was stunned at her reaction to what I thought was a helpful gesture!
Have you ever been bitten when you were trying to be helpful?
My experience with the reporter reminded me of the time an employee with the United States Marshals Service, John Soltys, a recently discharged Navy Seal who was enthusiastic and hardworking, suggested an improvement in the prisoner cell block. We forwarded his idea to headquarters for a commendation and they wrote back that he should be disciplined because he went outside his scope of responsibility.
Not long ago a friend of mine picked up a toy a child had dropped in a store and smilingly gave it back to her. The child’s mother grabbed it and angrily said, “Are you nuts? That teaches her to take things from strangers!” (I think someone was nuts in that conversation.)
How can you respond to unexpected bites?
Use self-control. Avoid lashing out in anger or hurt. Use your face and voice to show that you want to know what has caused the unexpected reaction. Smile if it is appropriate. Show concern, ask questions, give people a chance to back off from their hasty actions.
Be as honest and open as the situation will allow: “I don’t know what to say. I really didn’t expect this to be a problem.” “I have to tell you, I’m surprised I’m getting this response.” Perhaps a simple clarification or explanation can completely change the reactions of the other person.
You may need to stop the interaction, if you are in a situation where you can do so: “I was mistaken and thought you might be interested. You’re not, so we don’t need to talk about it anymore.”
There will be some situations in which you cannot present your viewpoint and you can only hope to get our rear-end out of the situation safely! At that point your best response is a simple, “I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Once bitten, twice shy.” There are some people you can never please and they approach most conversations with an unpleasant attitude. Others, like you and me, may not always respond effectively, but it is not the norm and we work to avoid being unpleasant, as well as working to show appreciation.
Put A Muzzle On Yourself
Think before you reject an idea or a person. Don’t say no too quickly and don’t assume you know all about the situation and can make a clear decision. Find out more.
Use your expression and voice to present your best self. When you must disagree or decline something, you can say no without saying it in a way that is offensive, hurtful or dismissive. Especially read your emails to ensure that you are not being more curt or sarcastic than you intended.
Consider the intentions of others. The old adage is that we judge ourselves by our intentions while others judge us by our actions. Change that a bit. Work to judge intentions and try to put a good spin on them until you are proven wrong. That is what you would want from others.
Appreciate efforts: We often say, derisively, “they meant well.” At least honor that, even though you should not accept poor work or a bad outcome. Treat effort and outcome separately. When people have tried to do the right thing, don’t repay them by biting their heads off about it.
Smiling is the best way to show your teeth!
October 5th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
*Free Church Security Material--In Word Format, Personal and Professional Development |
12 comments
The Jumblies
by Edward Lear
They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
In a Sieve they went to sea:
In spite of all their friends could say,
On a winter’s morn, on a stormy day,
In a Sieve they went to sea!
And when the Sieve turned round and round,
And everyone cried, ‘You’ll all be drowned!’
They called aloud, ‘Our Sieve ain’t big,
But we don’t care a button! we don’t care a fig!
In a Sieve we’ll go to sea!’
That is one of the many nonsense poems by Edward Lear (1812-1888). The Jumblies were a strange group–”their heads are green and their hands are blue.” But what made them so strange for this poem was their insistence upon doing something as dangerous as getting in a sieve (a kitchen strainer, pronounced, sive, as in give) and setting sail on a Winter’s morn, on a stormy day.
Countries, governments, businesses, organizations and individuals often end up in precarious situations that, after the fact, seemed inevitably doomed. It is also true that sometimes even the most safe appearing ventures can fail.
- Have you ever–OK, right now are you doing it?–felt as though you were in a sieve in the sea on a stormy day?
- Have you wondered how the heck you ended up in such a pickle?
- Have you thought that if only you could go back in time a bit, you would not get into that sieve in the first place?
- If there was a group called Sieve Sailors Anonymous, would you join? (Pass me that application, please!)
Avoid Being Like the Jumblies
1. Consider every significant decision as a boat that will take you somewhere. Will this action, this assignment, this relationship, this conversation, take you where you want to go? How you spend your next five minutes can be significant!
2. Be ready to make repairs. There is an old proverb about even the very best sails: “Split happens.” (OK, that isn’t an old proverb, but it could be!) Be ready emotionally, mentally, fincancially and every other way to repair damages and keep moving. That takes planning and requires long-term self-management.
3. Know when it’s time to change your plans. You don’t need to jump ship at the first big wave. But, if you are being swamped, don’t apologize for making a change. You may have to make big changes or only small ones. Whatever you do, be in charge of it as much as you can, rather than delaying until someone else takes over for you. Put your plans in writing and track your progress. Do not slack off even for one hour about something as important as this!
4. If you ever find yourself in a sieve in the sea on a Winter’s morn and a stormy day, act quickly to get to a safe harbor. Most importantly, don’t waste time feeling stupid or guilty for getting out there in the first place. There is no point in wishing things were different. They aren’t. You got in a sieve, and that’s all there is to it. Start bailing and do the best you can, with a smile on your face and a commitment to not get yourself in that situation again. You can do it!
October 1st, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Personal and Professional Development |
3 comments
