Tina Lewis Rowe

When “Criticize In Private” May Not Be The Best Tactic

Part Two of the series that evaluates the wisdom of applying “Praise in public, criticize in private” to supervisory activities.

The first article about this topic compared praising in public and private. This article focuses on at least two vital times when criticizing–in the form of intervening and strongly correcting in front of others (not lengthy reprimanding or harsh or sarcastic correction) is appropriate and may be necessary.

1. When behavior or performance by an employee presents a liability concern that must be corrected immediately, with a strong message for others. Examples of this could be a purposeful safety violation, an incident involving harassment, or some other very inappropriate conduct. It is absolutely necessary to stop the action and it is appropriate and necessary to let everyone present know that the behavior or performance is not acceptable.

There have been many civil actions against organizations that could have been prevented or mitigated by an immediate denouncement of bad behavior. I was reviewing a complaint about harassment and read a reference to a time when something very inappropriate was said in a meeting, but nothing was done about it. The supervisor who heard it but didn’t say anything said, “I talked about it to him later and told him not to do it again. I believe in praising in public and criticizing in private.” That was scant consolation from the complainant’s viewpoint.

2. When other employees are aware of a situation and might assume you approve or do not care, if you say nothing. I saw this in action when a supervisor quickly, concisely, and appropriately corrected an employee about throwing trash on the floor. When the supervisor responded immediately, other employees noticed, seemed to think justice had been done, and life moved on. What message would have been sent by no action? What if the supervisor would have waited to talk to the employee about it in private?

A supervisor must be concerned about both the employee and the organization: A supervisor is responsible for the interests of the organization. Fortunately, that is accomplished best by having good relationships with everyone. However, there are times when what is right and effective overall must take precedence over what is preferred by an employee.

Lieutenant Joe Goff, my commander when I was a new sergeant, once told me, “If a guy is willing to show his fanny in public, I don’t mind kicking it in public.” Let me hasten to add that I do not advocate verbally kicking someones fanny in public or private, and neither did Lt. Goff! His point was that if someone does something he or she knows is not acceptable and does it in front of other employees, a supervisor should be more concerned about the wrong behavior and its affect on everyone, than about upsetting the employee who is corrected in front of others.

“See me in my office.” This ominous statement is a long-standing solution for many supervisors, and it is sometimes useful. Other employees usually understand what that means, as evidenced by the quiet that comes over everyone! However, sometimes this is actually more negative sounding that your subsequent conversation will be. In addition, there is the concern that you will not have made a public statement about the situation, if that is needed.

The thing to remember is this: Just as there are times to praise in private, there are times to correct in public. When you do it, where you do it and how you do it is what makes it effective rather than ineffective or inappropriate. This is certainly the time when the Golden Rule applies! How would you want to be treated?

April 30th, 2008 Posted by TLR | Life and Work | no comments

When “Praise In Public, Criticize In Private” Is Not The Best Tactic

“Praise in public, correct in private” is advice that is often given in supervisory training without discussing its intent or the exceptions to it as a rule.

The most ancient attribution for that thought goes back to about 35 BC when Publilius Syrus said, “Admonish your friends privately, but praise them openly.”

Catherine the Great, in the 18th Century, said, “I like to praise and reward loudly, to blame quietly.” (Although her idea of blaming was usually an execution.)

The most frequent–and modern–attribution is to the great football coach, Vince Lombardi, who wrote, as part of an explanation about building a team, “Praise in public; criticize in private.” (Coach Lombardi was likely thinking of public in the literal sense, because he spent considerable time being interviewed about the wins and losses of the Green Bay Packers.)

That axiom is useful for reminding us of a some key issues about relationships with individuals and work groups:

• We show loyalty to groups and individuals when we support and praise them to others and reserve our complaints and criticisms for when we can talk to them face to face in a private setting.
• When we acknowledge the accomplishments and efforts of employees in front of other employees or groups, it helps them gain status and appreciation and also strengthens our relationships with them.
• We can damage relationships and the confidence and motivation of everyone involved if we embarrass or anger employees in front of their peers or to others in or out of the organization.
• Sincerely praising employees in front of others sends a message about what is valued.

However, there are exceptions to that bit of advice. For example, in a work setting there are plenty of times when praising in private is preferable.

When praising in private might be more appropriate than praising in public:

1. When a supervisor observes small demonstrations of effective behavior or performance that merit a brief and sincere immediate acknowledgement but do not require a more elaborate praise.

2. When one or more employees repeatedly do outstanding work that is above the norm while others rarely do. Publicly praising one or two much more often than others can create ill feelings and can become an embarrassment to the effective employees as well.

3. When it is likely that many in the group feel they have been working hard on a project, even though you are aware that only one or two actually made the project successful. Publicly praising the one or two extremely effective employees specifically, even if you praise everyone else as a group, will often create ill feelings.

4. When the matter being praised reflects poorly on another employee by comparison, even though you do not mention the other employee.

5. When praising in public will set an employee apart in that way that creates discomfort. Supervisors should be aware of group dynamics and culture for that reason.

6. When the behavior or performance being praised is not exceptional for most employees, only for this one. Praising in those cases can frustrate and anger the employees who have been doing that level of work all along. (On the other hand, when new employees are gaining skills and knowledge, coworkers are often happy for them and will be more likely to support the praise.)

7. When there is no convenient opportunity to praise an employee in front of others because of the nature of the work or group.

8. When the personality and style of the employee is such that public praise would be a disincentive. You may be able to change this feeling by not being excessive about praise. However, there are some employees who appreciate private praise but genuinely do not want to be the focus of attention by others.

Praise as often as possible, both in public and private. There are many, many times when we can make a differene in work and the feelings of employees though a brief but sincere public recognition of the work of an individual or group. There are also many times when praise means more if given in private, when the supervisor can be a bit more effusive and personal, and the employee can bask in it for a moment, rather than feeling uncomfortable.

The key for your effectiveness is to do the right thing for the situation, rather than relying on generalized advice–no matter who said it.

April 29th, 2008 Posted by TLR | Supervision and Management | 6 comments

Blueberries, Pick-Up Trucks and Building Relationships

Celeste Bumpus is a speaker, trainer, consultant and president of Creating Balance Seminars. She wrote a guide to eating smart, entitled, Are the Blueberries in Your Waffles Really Blueberries? That is an ear-catching title, isn’t it? I found out not long ago that Celeste had another title in mind–a title that accurately described the focus of the book. A perfectly fine title. The question about blueberries was actually the first line on the back of the book:

“Are the blueberries in your waffles really blueberries?
Are fat free products truly fat free? What’s better, low carb or low fat food?”

Celeste noticed that those she asked to look at her draft copy would look at the front cover without making a comment, turn the book over and read the first line on the back cover, and immediately stop and ask, “Are the blueberries in my waffles really blueberries?” That question attracted so much interest that Celeste knew she needed to change the title of her book! The book is about much more than that (although it does answer that question!) but the question changes her from a knowledgeable person (a good thing) to a personal consultant (a great thing!)

That ties into the advice I once read that the best way to title the chapters of a self-help book is to pose questions which are then answered by the material in each chapter. When the material is brought into the world of the reader through a question, the reader enters the world of the book to get the answer. You can think about that concept when you talk to people–what will take you into their world and bring them into yours?

Years ago I was teaching an In-Service training class at the Denver Police Department Academy, located at the time near one of the city parks. I was in the hallway at break time when one of the participants walked up to another one–someone who rarely spoke and often seemed disinterested–and asked, “What year is your truck?” The officer’s face brightened immediately and he replied that it was almost ten years old, but in great condition. He said he often towed a boat with it and had become the official mover for his whole family–but still, it was comfortable for riding, and he and his wife had gone on a long road trip a few months earlier and enjoyed every minute of it. He concluded by asking, “Are you thinking about getting a truck?” The other officer who had stood there, almost in a daze from the verbal volley by this otherwise morose appearing officer, said, “No. I just was trying to figure out whose truck it was that got a window broken from a golf ball.”

It turned out the broken window was on someone else’s truck, and after the hoopla the officer came back inside, resumed his place in class and once again seemed disinterested. But, for those few moments I was able to see what he was like when he was enthusiastic! Apparently that question gave him a reason to talk that had been lacking before. (I could also use that situation to point out how much more impressive we are when we show enthusiasm.)

I do not suggest that you develop a list of questions to insincerely bring out the interest and enthusiasm of others in a manipulative way. However, it may be helpful for you to remember that one appropriate and effective question can be more mentally engaging than dozens of statements.

Do you have tried and true questions you use in counseling, training, meetings or even social settings, that seem to encourage people to share thoughts or to be more open to your ideas? Let me know about them! (See? I closed with a question, so you would be more likely to respond. Don’t let me down!)

April 27th, 2008 Posted by TLR | Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development | 8 comments

Tiny Goals, Big Rewards

There are multitudes of books, articles, poems and proverbs about daring and doing, rather than fearfully holding back, or only talking without acting. Often these conjure up visions of what we might consider “great” achievements: Starting a business, getting our ideas widely known and accepted, writing a book, winning a competition, or being chosen for a job or assignment. However, there are equally worthy small goals–even very tiny goals–that will probably never be known by others, but are important to us as individuals. They may seem trivial, but they are not if they have the potential to make our lives better mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually, or to make us more effective with others.

I am not only talking here about small chunks of a larger goal–although that is one way to consider it. I am also talking about doing small things that we tend to procrastinate, overlook or simply neglect because our time is spent on big things. These tiny achievments are secret gifts to ourselves, that can mean as much as the impressive things we accomplish that others know about.

Tiny goal accomplishment requires the same focus and commitment as any goal–but often the rewards are immediate. Never underestimate the wonderful feelings you can get from accomplishing small things:

• Running forty-five more seconds on the treadmill than you did yesterday! That’s almost a minute!
• Getting an unpleasant task done and out of the way, ten minutes sooner than you thought possible. Ten minutes, wow!
• Driving to the store to get a birthday card, and addressing and mailing it before going home. Your friend will be thrilled!
• Leaving a restaurant without eating dessert two times straight in a row! Not everyone has that kind of resolution, but you do!
• The kitchen drawer is tidy again and odd items have been put in their correct places. You’ll like that!
• Finally, you made the appointment! Wasn’t that easy?
• Filling up the gas tank without waiting until it was almost on empty. What a treat tomorrow morning!
• Creating a folder on your computer and working for fifteen solid minutes to move files. Almost done!

Sometimes projects, tasks or things we want to do, are so tiny we cannot even bring them to mind immediately. Our big goals are sitting there all the time saying, “Feed Me!” But, small goals do not seem significant enough in comparison to focus on them, much less to view them as challenges–although they often are among our biggest challenges. Over the next few hours or days, purposely set small goals and achieve them, then congratulate yourself as much as if you had written a book, lost weight or stopped smoking.

How to achieve tiny goals–and sometimes big ones:  There are several effective methods for helping to achieve goals, and over time I will mention some of the best of those, including ancient advice and the newest self-help books. However, one of the best techniques for accomplishing tiny goals is the Sneak Up On Yourself technique. I am not suggesting this approach would work for everyone–or that it would even seem rational to you. It is, however, a method that works for many–and for me.

If you sit (or lay in bed) and think about what you want to accomplish, part of your mind may tend to resist the idea and sabotage your efforts merely by dreading it, planning it in far more detail than is needed, or insisting that you spend at least a few minutes making a list of to-do items and putting them in priorities–which means you run out of time to do the thing you wanted or needed to do. Or, you fleetingly think of the thing you would like to do one day and the part of your brain that often stalls and dawdles will hide it behind a wall in your mind. Or, you find reasons why you should spend your time, money or efforts on something you think of as more significant, even though this small goal, task or wish is important for many reasons too.

Try the Sneak Up On Yourself technique: Before the “Not now” part of your brain can even figure out what to do to stop you, start doing the thing you want to do. The next thing you know, it is done and you will be very happy with yourself!

• If you want to spend extra time exercising, rev up a bit more energy and keep going so you cannot hear yourself saying you would just as soon stop.
• If you want to get a drawer or small space organized, turn quickly and start doing your task. Most of your brain will be focused on  something else and won’t even know what you’re up to until it’s too late.
• If you know you need to put your tax papers in a file and store them, instead of having them stacked on your desk, jump up, grab the file folder and rush through it before the rest of your brain can remind you of things you would rather do instead. (Which is what I just did and now I am chortling for putting one over on myself.)

OK, you may not approach it in quite the maniacal spirit I suggest, and you may not want to refer to sneaking up on yourself, but the concept is still a valid one: To achieve tiny goals and small tasks, one approach is to just do them. Do them with a smile of achievement and accomplishment, thinking of it as a gift to yourself. It is certainly true that accomplishing a tiny goal, or doing a small task, can often bring as much satisfaction and happiness as an incremental accomplishment of a bigger goal.

One last thought about tiny goals and big rewards: If you can fulfill your little dreams, make small wishes come true and accomplish tiny tasks, you will see the proof that you have what it takes for the biggest challenges you will ever face.

April 25th, 2008 Posted by TLR | Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development | 4 comments

Organizing Outlook And Other E-Mail Programs — Do You Have A Method That Works?

Not long ago I bought several books on how to optimize Microsoft Outlook as a planning and organizing tool.  I bought them to give me ideas for a training segment on how to use technology more effectively–and thought I would surely be able to use some of the ideas myself. I have decided the Microsoft site is sufficient for the needs of most Outlook users, and other useful information can be found online. Unless you really, truly want a system, those resources will be enough. The one or possibly two or three ideas I got from any of the current crop of popular books, were not worth the money or time involved.

The material could be useful, I suppose, if one were attending a training session based solely on the system being touted by the various authors. However, without that in-depth study and classroom persuasion, I do not think the average person would adopt the system. Some required practically a new vocabulary! I would not have minded that so much, but some of the ideas seemed to be very complex for a very basic purpose. (A to-do list became a multi-colored, cross-indexed process that ultimately would be no more effective than my regular prioritized list.) More importantly, the authors apparently do not have the same experiences with email as I do, the same need to access it, or the same paranoid fear of not being able to document sent and received messages.

For example, one book suggests scheduling a time to read email–usually no more than two or three times a day–one author suggested trying only once a day. (If I am home, I think of email as like a business phone call and I respond quickly, and I expect that type of response from those I email for business.) One book suggests turning off the email icon and the sound that indicates mail has arrived. (I have the volume turned up on my monitor so the email sound could very well be confused with the Day of Judgment trumpet.) 

Almost all of the books were adamant that both incoming and sent messages must be immediately placed in folders or deleted permanently. (I have 870 messages in my delete folder right now, and will likely not permanently delete for another month or so.) That is not to say that my way is the most efficient and effective way–but it is my way and it works for my life and work. 

The helpful Microsoft Site: For the Microsoft site, click here. Browse through the various articles and you may find some helpful tips. One idea I found on the site several years ago, and still use, is to put a reminder flag on messages in my in-box that I want to be sure to follow-up about. You may have known about that feature, but I did not, now use it all the time and find it very beneficial. Another site that I found useful is a college site that has a monthly tech article. The one on Outlook is well-done. Check it out here.

I would be interested in knowing if some of you have learned or developed tips or techniques for most effectively using your specific email program, or if you have found a book or article particularly useful. You know how to contact me!

April 22nd, 2008 Posted by TLR | Life and Work, Technology, Blogs, A/V etc. | 5 comments

There Is A Lot To Be Said For Dependability–Especially In Restaurants

A franchise retaurant operates in accordance with methods, procedures, decor, menu and other standards prescribed by the franchisor, and the franchisor assists the franchisee through training, market research, set-up, advertising and other advisory services. An independent restaurant has no such agreement and is solely managed by the person or group that owns it. Some independent restaurants have multiple locations, usually in the same city or region, but are not part of a franchise.

All of us are familiar with franchise snack food and fast food (like the one you are thinking about that has 31,000 outlets throughout the world), and most of us eat occasionally or regularly at casual to upscale sit-down franchise restaurants. I have friends who refuse to eat at a franchise restaurant unless there is absolutely no other choice, and other friends who avoid independent restaurants unless they are very confident about the food preparation and overall restaurant cleanliness or about the price or comfort levels.

Most of us appreciate franchise restaurants for their dependability and ease of decision-making. (We know what food quality, menu items and price to expect at most franchise restaurants, but not at The Korner Kafe or Le Bleu Belle.) Although, for many of us, our truly favorite restaurants, from casual to elegant, are independently owned and are unique, invariably excellent, and places we look forward to visiting. Sadly, those tend to come and go, so our favorite restaurant may be closed the next time we visit!

Recently someone compared himself professionally to a fine independent restaurant surrounded by mediocre fast food franchises. The analogy was too extreme–although I did agree that he is not as dependably good as a solid franchise restaurant would be! However, the most important part of the conversation was that it allowed me to concentrate on food! Thus, I meditated on my unordered list of favorite sit-down franchise restaurants.

1. The Elephant Bar Restaurant. I like their large menu–especially the salads–and decor. It is a good date restaurant, but I tend to avoid it for weekend lunch dining. Children seem to not be able to resist putting on the little paper animal masks and making growling sounds. Grrrr. (I wish we had a Trader Vic’s here–similar concept but a lot of history as well, and more elegant.)
2. Genghis Grill. Mongolian Stir-Fry. Similar to B.D.’s Monogolian Barbeque. I love this kind of food, and the volume at these restaurants usually ensures the ingredients are very fresh.
3. P.F. Chang’s. Upscale with dependably very good food. I prefer to eat Oriental food at The Imperial, an excellent independent restaurant on South Broadway, in Denver. But, I know if I go to P.F. Chang’s I’ll have a very good time.
4. Sweet Tomatoes. A salad-buffet restaurant. It has continually refreshed salad makings, and the various buffet options are excellent. This chain started as Souplantation and still has some restaurants with that name. With a name like that, where do you think it began? You are correct–San Diego!
5. Hops Restaurant and Brewery.  When I get those honey-drizzled croissants I am happy! They have a good American menu overall and excellent key lime pie. I also get their root beer now and then–but it is not as good as A&W!
6. Steak and Ale. Dependably good food and I like both the food and setting better than the other franchise steakhouses. I prefer the prime rib to the steak, and I enjoy their salads.
7. Uno Chicago Grill. They have a good menu that goes past pizza–although I do love their pizza! They also have new healthier options as well.
8. Mimi’s Cafe. I enjoy the menu options, but I avoid it on weekends. Portions are large, as they tend to be in many places nowadays–so I can take some home if I have it packed it up before I nibble it away!
9. The Village Inn Pancake House or International House of Pancakes. I love breakfast, any time of day! I live near the Arapahoe County airport, outside of Denver, so I can eat at The Perfect Landing–which has a spectacular breakfast and a fun view of the small airport landing field, with the mountains in the distance. But, they do not have pancakes as good as the VI or IHOP! (I have eaten hundreds–maybe thousands–of Grand Slam breakfasts at Denny’s, which is why I would have to be forced to go there now!)
10. Bonefish Grill. This is very, very good for fish, crabcakes, steak or salad, and is nice for a date. McCormick and Schmick’s is also very good, but more expensive. I also like Pappadeaux, but prefer the overall setting at the Bonefish.

So, where would you like to go eat? While you are thinking about that, consider this as well: If you were a restaurant, what type would you be? (That sounds like something asked on The Newlywed Game or in a bizarre job interview!)

April 20th, 2008 Posted by TLR | Food, Fitness, Fun, Life and Work | 8 comments