The value of personal anecdotes in your work:
Personal anecdotes can help you:
- Reinforce a learning moment.
- Share a human situation in your work or life history.
- Add humor, inspiration or energy to a meeting or presentation.
However, as you have likely discovered, effectively telling an anecdote of any kind is not easy, and telling a personal anecdote is even more challenging. If you have ever sat in a meeting or in an audience and mentally grimaced with embarrassment, frustration, boredom or irritation while someone told a story, you know you don’t want to get the same reaction!
Some of the negative reactions to personal anecdotes:
- If you talk about your experiences or accomplishments excessively–even for the purpose of encouraging others or sharing what you have in common with them–you can seem to be bragging or living in the past.
- If you frequently talk about your past mistakes, listeners may laugh with you but start viewing you as an incompetent who has no right to critique their work or offer advice. (Even worse, the story gets repeated, each time with a twist, until one day you are asked, incredulously, “Is it true that you……….?”)
- If you nearly always follow-up something someone else has said with, “That reminds me of the time when……” it can seem as though you have a “war story” for every situation or that you are trying to top that person’s story.
- If your anecdotes are lengthy, very detailed or not particularly entertaining, you may be considered boring–especially if you have told the same story repeatedly.
- If you tell stories that clearly are very exaggerated or not true, even for a good purpose, you will lose credibility and people won’t believe the true stories you share.
In spite of those potential problems, using personal anecdotes can be very effective. The key to success is to use anecdotes purposefully and carefully.
- Practice the story. Practice before you tell it the first time, and occasionally after that, so you don’t misspeak, or cast about mentally for the times, dates or details, and so you can tell it concisely and clearly.
- Have a purpose for the anecdote. Do you want to reinforce a point, connect with people on a personal level, redirect thinking, or share a smile? Choose a story that is right for your purpose, rather than tossing in a story just to say you told one.
- Tell the truth. The truth may not seem as colorful, funny or dramatic as the new way you tell it, but if you tell it as though it really happened, it should have really happened. Otherwise, it isn’t a personal story, it’s a lie. You can change some details or put a funny or dramatic spin on it, but keep the essence true. Especially keep your role in it accurate.
- Keep it brief. You may enjoy replaying every tiny detail in your mind, but others may wish you would hurry up and get to the point.
- Keep the emotions you display and the tone of voice you use, appropriate for the story you are telling. If you laugh about details that a reasonable person would not find amusing, or tell an otherwise amusing story in a somber way, listeners may misunderstand your purpose, or think you are not very discerning about the situation.
- Put energy into it. Tell an interesting story, don’t just ploddingly recount an event. You should nearly always speak a bit faster when telling an anecdote. Be appropriately and comfortably animated. However, do not make it a speech class dramatic reading!
- Finish and move on. Finish your anecdote with a few words to remind listeners once again of what the story was designed to illustrate, then segue back to the original conversation or presentation.
Monitor the reactions to your anecdotes.
*If people do not seem to be responding as expected–if they laugh at serious parts and nod solemnly at what you think is funny–you may need to tell it in a different way.
*If someone tries to move you along by saying, ”Yeah, I get the point,” or if they nod vigorously to indicate they understand, you may need to reduce the number of details or speak with more energy and a slightly increased speed.
*If you finish and your listeners are staring at you as though waiting for the punchline, develop an ending that wraps up the story in a more direct manner.
*If people are nervously smiling, but shaking their heads back and forth in a negative way, they may be sending a subconscious message that the story was not appropriate or that it was offensive or embarrassing.
*If listeners stop making eye contact, they are probably no longer mentally engaged by your story.
In all those cases, it may not be the story that is the problem, but the way you are telling it–work on that before you eliminate the anecdote, if you think the story serves a useful purpose.
A story notebook: Consider keeping a notebook or computer file to remind you of situations that have illustrative potential, and review your file occasionally or when you are preparing a presentation, so you don’t forget.
The python story: One of my brothers, Manley Lewis, once reminded me of a situation I had told him about, and said, ”That python story was the funniest story you ever told me.” I had completely forgotten that incident–but now I use it in presentations quite often to illustrate several key points. The python story is one of the stories of my life. Look for ways to effectively share yours.
February 28th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Assessment Centers and Interviews, Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development |
6 comments
Water is the ideal drink from the viewpoint of health and cost, and I drink a lot of water. But, I like fun drinks and sweet taste, so I’ve worked to find drinks that don’t have many calories and that allow me to enjoy a soft drink now and then. And, just to get this out of the way: I know of the studies about risks related to chemicals and caffeine, so I’m not touting these as healthy drinks, ways to lose weight, or substitutes for anything. I’m just saying I like them when I drink something other than water.
If you don’t care for diet drinks, but would be willing to drink one on occasion if you could stand the taste, you really can learn to prefer them, just as all those irritating people have assured you they do. I started a couple of years ago by drinking Diet Lime Coke. (If I could put a trademark symbol after that brand name, I would. Since I can’t, my future posts may be from Leavenworth.) I was able to tolerate it, although I didn’t care for it at first. Then, I made the move to regular Diet Coke and added my own lime. Now, although I never believed it possible, I do not notice any strange after-taste or unpleasant flavor to most diet drinks, and prefer some of the diet versions to their full-sugar counterparts. I hate to even write that, because it’s so hackneyed to say it!
You have probably wondered, in the still of the night, “What are Tina’s favorite soft drinks?” Here is the very short list of diet drinks I like, and that you might like too:
1. A Sonic Drive-In Route 44 Diet Coke, with lime and extra lime, easy ice. That’s what the manager at my Sonic told me ask for each time, to get it just the way I like it. I stop at a Sonic everywhere I go, and with a little explanation now and then that works to get the best Diet Lime Coke possible, in a very large size. My friend Ava Fryer is the one who put me onto asking for easy ice, which gives me even more to drink. Sonic drinks are far better tasting than any from other fast-food places, and I think it’s because of the finely crushed ice, heavy carbonation and their ability to make it with a wide variety of flavorings. Lime and lemon are my favorites, and sometimes I ask for both. (I know how to live on the wild side, don’t I?)
2. Tava. This is a great new canned, carbonated, strongly fruit-flavored drink with vitamins and minerals. They have a website with music from new artists, and the same motivational phrases they put on the cans.
3. Fuze. A non-carbonated drink that is often on sale. I like Slenderize Dragonfruit Lime, Slenderize Cranberry Raspberry, and Slenderize Fruit Punch. I can tolerate Diet Pomegranate White Tea, but I don’t care for flavored tea drinks in general. That is why I don’t like Snapple, although they certainly have an impressive website –maybe a bit too complicated for me! The other Fuze drinks are good too, but have higher calories. Fuze was the first of the “functional drinks” with vitamins and minerals added.
4. Diet Hansen drinks. Hansen has good fruit flavored drinks and their diet versions are also good, though I find them to be more acidic than most other drinks.
5. The sugar-free version of A&W Root Beer tastes better to me than any other brand, though I still don’t think it is as good as full-sugar. And none of it is as good as getting it in a frosty mug at an A&W drive-in, then buying a glass jug of it to take home. But I digress…..
6. Club Soda with real lime added. Not many people like something that bland and unsweetened, but I find it refreshing and a break from very sweet drinks.
That’s it. Other than those few favorites of mine, I’d just as soon drink water, plain iced tea or plain black (not herbal or flavored) hot tea.
For decades Pepsi was my soft drink of choice. I savored a glass of Pepsi on ice like some people might savor a fine wine. I don’t like the taste of Diet Pepsi, so have gone exclusively to the other diet drinks for the last few years–which is why I have tried almost all of them and picked favorites. Not long ago I decided to treat myself and drink a full-sugar Pepsi. I could hardly wait to taste it again. I took one sip, then another, then a third. The thrill was gone! It was disappointingly not as good as I thought it would be or as I remembered it being. I didn’t finish it, and later got a Diet Coke to which I added some lime. I had moved completely away from one thing and moved on to something new, and hadn’t even realized it. I think that might be metaphor for some aspects of life, don’t you?
If you have a favorite sugar-free drink, let me know. I really would like to increase my options!
February 26th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Food, Fitness, Fun |
3 comments
One of the key roles of supervisors and managers is to represent those above them and below them in the organizational heirarchy. Supervisors at every level are the conduits for communication back and forth. They communicate to the next higher level on behalf of those they supervise and they communicate to their direct reports about information received from those higher in the organization. All of it involves representing, or to say it another way, re-presenting.
When we communicate as a supervisor or manager, we need to present information in a way that speaks for the other person as if he or she was there to do it personally–and in the most effective manner possible.
As with any other supervisory or managerial task, we need to guard against errors:
- Often we think we know the mental response of the listener about what we’re reporting, so we cater to those thoughts or feelings. For example, we are supposed to communicate about a new policy we think might be unpopular, so we say:
“Don’t shoot the messenger on this.”
“This wasn’t my idea, I’m just passing it along.”
“I know you’re not going to like this, but I’m just telling you what I was told.”
if we are communicating upwards we might say:
“As usual, a few of the people are whining about how they don’t understand the need for the new policy.”
“I promised him I’d tell you that he isn’t happy about the decision, so I just fulfilled my promise.”
If we don’t actually say dismissive or ridiculing words we express them in our tone or demeanor. I’ve often thought about how shocked, appalled, angry and disappointed people at all levels would be if they could hear how their sincere concerns, questions, directions and suggestions are re-presented by supervisors and managers.
- We don’t communicate with the tone or emphasis intended by the person we are representing, which results in misunderstandings or unnecessarily bad feelings.
Some supervisors and managers over-dramatize the things they communicate about, to the point that people are angry or upset, even though that severity was not intended by the original communicator.
Other supervisors downplay the things they communicate, or treat them so casually the intended significance is lost.
There are times when you might think that toning down or tuning up a communication is much more likely to good results, but it is better to discuss that with the original communicator than to translate or interpret on your own.
- We communicate differently according to our personal feelings about the person we are representing. If we like the employee or the person above us, we present their thoughts accurately and even put a good spin on them if needed. If we don’t like that person, we don’t communicate as accurately, or we say it in a way that is less likely to be well-received.
- We aren’t clear about the communication ourselves, so we can’t communicate clearly. That is one reason to ask for communication in writing–not so it can be forwarded as is, but to be able to know more definitely what information the person wants us to forward–then, we can clarify it, paraphrase if needed, correct misunderstandings or errors, and communicate effectively rather than just efficiently.
- We don’t represent at all because we never pass along the information. Employees think we have asked their questions and senior managers think we have expressed their reasoning, and both think we have expressed their concerns, but we haven’t.
Sometimes that is caused by fear of being involved in unpleasantness, other times it is simply disinterest, and sometimes it is based on our own decision that the information isn’t worth passing along. Whatever the cause, we have not fulfilled our responsibilities.
Supervisors and managers benefit from representing accurately and effectively. Results are more positive when we communicate with clarity and in a way that represents people positively when possible. And, we gain a better reputation in the long run. People know we are truthful and can be trusted to convey information without being either unnecessarily brutal or a spin-doctor.
The next time you are fulfilling your supervisory or managerial responsibility to convey information or questions, think of it as re-presenting that person’s thoughts, intentions, and their hopes for the final result of their communications. Speak for them, as if they were there and at their best. That’s what you’d want from those who represent you.
February 24th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Personal and Professional Development, Supervision and Management |
3 comments
You probably read a variety of material–hopefully, some of it related to work or to personal or professional development. For interesting perspectives, try reading books and magazine articles about supervision, management, leadership or personal development, written thirty or more years ago. You will find that much of the material could have been written yesterday, while some of the material is is amusing or irritating, viewed from 2008 perspectives. Any old, non-fiction book can be a wonderful window into the world of the past
One of my prized possessions is a reference set of 6 books, first printed in 1907 and reprinted in 1910. I have used those books repeatedly and find them to be fascinating and worthwhile for many reasons. For one thing, it’s very interesting–and sometimes poignant–to read articles about historic figures, written while they were still living. Nicholas II and Alexandra, his beloved Tsarina, and their children had not yet been executed; Theodore Roosevelt was no longer the president but was active in conservation projects; John D. Rockefeller had just given over fifty million dollars to various colleges (In 1910 money!).
In the section on physical development the comment is made: “It is not enough to exercise the limbs and muscles to build strength. Every man, woman, boy and girl should also exercise their hearts and lungs. This can be done through daily rapid walking, or exercises such as arm swinging for prolonged periods, to increase breathing and pulse and develop strong pulmonary and vascular systems. Without a healthy heart and lungs, the other muscles have little value.” So much for aerobic health being a fairly modern discovery!
I have a dozen or so books on supervision written from 1935-1985 and find them to be tremendously useful for comparison and contrast about training topics. I often read an excerpt from one of those books without telling participants the publication date. For example, the chapter of one book on leadership is titled, “Teach Young People To Work.” It discusses how young people coming into the work force need to be taught to take responsibility and to do more than just enough to get by. Young employees, the author says, often have unrealistic expectations and want all the benefits of tenure long before they have paid their dues as a valued employee. Then, I show the book and read the date of the copyright: 1967.
You can find old books and magazines at estate sales and garage sales, online, in used bookstores, and sometimes in the homes of older relatives and friends–like me! Some classics are costly, but I simply look for any old reference book, or books on topics about which I teach. I also let people know I’m looking, and I occasionally receive an old book or magazine in the mail.
In yesterday’s training journal post I mentioned using old photos or scans from old books or magazines in PowerPoint slides, and that is another reason to look for older publications. However, the main reason is to see the issues and concerns of supervisors, managers and employees decades ago. It’s also interesting to consider how the books and magazine articles written today will seem to those who collect old resource material in 2050.
February 22nd, 2008
Posted by
Tina |
Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development, Supervision and Management |
3 comments
PowerPoint slides are the subject of many articles and posts on the internet. The purpose of this post isn’t to discuss the overuse of PowerPoint, or the poor quality of many of the slides being created by trainers and presenters, or the fact that if you stand in the dark to show them you might as well go back to a 1960’s era slide show–I’ll write about that some other time–but to suggest a way to enliven the slides and make the text more memorable.
I use PowerPoint slides much as I did overhead transparencies: Text for key points, but with something visual to make the point stick in the minds of participants. One way to do that is to use a few photos in a presentation, much as one might use a photo to add interest to a post such as this one. The attention of audiences is gained immediately when a photo is on the slide, along with important text. (Does the Kodak Instamatic camera look familiar? Remember the flash cube on a stick?)
Of course, technical or professional topics can be illustrated with appropriate photos. And, using photos of people doing the tasks involved with a training topic is an obvious way to put interest in a slide. Those who have been to my classes know that I use old photos of myself as a police officer as part of my introductory material. When many in the class know me already I leave out the photos, and inevitably people will ask if I’m going to show them later, because they told others in the class about them.
In addition to these more obvious uses of photos, photos that illustrate a concept are also useful. Photos are particularly useful for illustrating text about personal and professional development, conflict and conflict resolution, setting and achieving goals, workgroups and teams, and then and now. This also allows you to avoid poor quality clipart. (Although I’m not opposed to all clipart–another post topic!)
I often have the photo appear while I briefly discuss a concept, then I have the key text appear. Sometimes I will ask what concept the photo represents, or if anyone has ever seen something like that and thought about the concept we’re going to discuss. When someone says, usually with heavy, but humorous sarcasm that they’ve seen the object, but never thought of that concept, I laugh with everyone else and tell them they will always think of it from now on. I’ll bet that’s true!
Consider these photos and how they might be used in some of your presentations. Remember, the topics don’t have to be related to the subject of the photo, you only need to link it in some way.
- Highways, roads, paths, lanes, bridges, street signs and lights, construction zones.
- Vehicles: Old, new, wrecked, towed, expensive, with bumper stickers, with interesting or funny license plates.
- Industrial areas: Doors, locks, trucks, security guard buildings, boxes, dumpsters, graffitti.
- Airports: You can often get great photos of planes taking off, parking lot filled with vehicles, and people.
- Nature: Flowers, weeds, weather, rocks, water, storms, aftermath of storms.
- Animals: Domestic and wild, but not doing inappropriate things!
- People: I’m thinking of having a few students pose for photos illustrating communication scenarios, so I can use them in other classes. If you are training within your own organization, old photos of former or current employees with the office equipment, cars, clothes and hairstyles of the era, can be fun. As a fun farewell after a week-long class, I have sometimes used a photo editor to put faces of students on clipart images. I don’t use those to illustrate important text. And, it was very time-consuming!
- Almost anything in your home or office can illustrate a point: A book cover, phone, watch, glasses, scissors, pen, key, hot stovetop element, dying plant, broom, or food item.
Photos from stock sites are far too expensive for your purposes, and they look too commercial. The same thing applies to photos from photo and clipart subscription services. I’m not going to preach here about the use of photos from the internet, or photos from magazines or books. Those are usually copyrighted and you may or may not be able to use them legally–that’s up to you to find out and decide. I often look for very old books with old photos, or old magazines and catalogs, as a legal alternative. I have found old photos that were tremendously interesting and that cemented thoughts in the minds of participants.
One surefire method to avoid copyright problems is to take your own photos or use photos taken by others who have given you permission to use them. You don’t need a very fancy camera, tripod or any equipment other than a digital camera with a telephoto lens–although a nice camera and a basic tripod can make it easier to produce some excellent photographic material. Spend a day or two taking photos now and then. When you download them, think about how all or part of a photo could be used in a presentation. Play around with the photos and topics until you find an interesting nexus.
Insert the photos using the insert/file feature in your powerpoint slide, size it to allow a text box, then type in the text. Do not use more than a few photos in a presentation, and do not attempt to make them all amusing–that will only irritate people.
If you use good judgment and effective photos you will enjoy making your slides, and most importantly, participants will enjoy looking at them. And, anything that captures the attention of participants in a positive way and makes the material memorable, is a good thing.
Here are some photos and scans I have used recently. How could you use something similar? Challenge yourself to incorporate your own photos into PowerPoint Slides and see if you don’t find it fun and worthwhile for you and the participants.
February 20th, 2008
Posted by
Tina |
Personal and Professional Development, Technology, Blogs, A/V etc. |
2 comments
You and I have thought it, but Ralph Waldo Emerson was the one who said it first: “Our chief want in life is someone to make us do what we can.” That want and need for someone to force us to do what we could do if only we would do it, is why we are willing to pay others to help us make the changes we want to make in our lives and careers.
Paying someone to direct our actions, chide us for making excuses, and applaud us for success may be well worth it. Professionals or experienced people may have knowledge and resources you don’t have, and they may know tips and techniques you would never think of on your own. If you have serious problems physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually, you will need more than self-help. However, many of the activities of a life or career coach, advisor, or counselor are things you could do for yourself–and you could gain knowledge and link with resources that would help you in others ways, as well. Consider taking yourself as a client. Use the knowledge, skills and attitudes that have helped you be successful in other areas–and that you have probably used to help others–to be successful in dealing with personal and professional challenges.
1. If you hired a professional advisor or coach, what would he or she do or say in the first meeting with you? What will you be told to bring to the meeting and what will you be asked to provide as background material? What will your advisor ask you about, and how will you respond? How do you think the first meeting will end?
2. What realistic goals will you be helped to set? Will you be given a chart or graph, or asked to keep a journal or make a report regularly?
3. What plan of action do you think your advisor will develop for you? What will the plan look like from the viewpoint of what you will be guided to do less of and more of, and what will you do instead of or addition to the things you’re doing now? How often will be you be expected to do substantial work toward your goal, and what will you be expected to do?
4. What will your professional person do for you to help you achieve your goals? For example, if you hire a health and fitness counselor, will he develop a shopping list or training program for you? If you hire someone to help you in other areas will she give you reading materials, find local resources or develop a list of daily activities?
5. When you are tempted to not follow the plan, or if you have failed to do your daily work, what will your advisor do? What methods will your advisor likely suggest for avoiding temptation, sticking with your plan, and reaching your goal?
6. How will you know you have accomplished your goals, so you can have your last meeting with your advisor? Picture yourself shaking hands with him or her. What will your life be like when your advisor says “Congratulations!”?
Being your own advisor, counselor and life coach, is not the same as being your own lawyer. If you have been successful in most of the other areas of your life, you have the time, wisdom and ability to guide and direct yourself to doing what you know you can do. To make it doubly rewarding, present yourself with a bill when you’re done, and buy something worthwhile with the money you’ve saved!
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February 19th, 2008
Posted by
Tina |
Food, Fitness, Fun, Personal and Professional Development |
one comment
