An Instant Impact Thank You Note!
When class was done at the end of the Colorado Association of Chiefs of Police Supervisory Institute, I was gathering my training material and ready to go home. I had commuted almost four hours a day for three days and taught about the crucial role of a supervisor within an organization. My mind was as tired as the rest of me!
As I was picking up my training material I found a name card with a note on it. I smiled then laughed, because the officer who had apparently sneaked up and left it on my table, Officer James Johnson, had reminded me of a big puppy dog that created havoc whether he intended to or not. He was a lot of fun in the class and added to it in many ways. (At least, he added to my enjoyment!)
I write and teach about Instant Impact Communications and Instant Impact Moments, and Officer Johnson’s thank you card is a great example. I often receive emails and cards from participants in classes or conferences, and I save them all. But this was immediate, fun and very personal. It made an Instant Impact! (And, I can assure you, everyone needs some support and encourgement after they teach a class!)
Consider this the next time you go to any meeting, conference or training where you have a name card. Write a note on it before you leave, to send a positive message to the person who put a lot of effort into the program–the speaker, instructor, coordinator or events manager. It will be a wonderful compliment for someone who is tired and hoping their efforts were appreciated. It will end the training time on a positive note for you as well!
October 9th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development |
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Ouch!
When I got the phone call from the reporter at the Denver Post I was happy to hear from her. I had no idea the call would end with me shaking from anger and frustration! Have you had that happen?
I had left a message for the reporter, a religious writer for the paper in the past, who had been recommended to me. I told her briefly about the unexpected response I have had to the free PDF document on church security I send to people who request it. Through this site alone I have sent out about 1,800, and most of the recipients pass them along to many others.
I believe there is an interesting story in the fact that, through people finding this site on a search engine, I have sent that document to almost every state, and to Canada, Mexico, England, Ireland, Scotland, Norway, India, China, Japan, El Salvador, Peru, Mexico, Australia, Nova Scotia and Texas. Do you think that could have happened thirty years ago? Would there have been a perceived need thirty years ago?
Suffice it to say the reporter jumped on me with all four feet, almost from her first words. She clearly had little knowledge of security planning, emergency responses, or the situation in most churches, but she had plenty of opinions anyway, and let me know she didn’t agree with me. (She thinks telling ushers to get assistance rather than tackling a suspicious person, is creating a victim mentality.) She wasn’t at all interested in the international requests, or the many positive follow-up messages I had received.
Finally–not soon enough–I said I was done arguing with her about it and we hung up with negative feelings. I was stunned at her reaction to what I thought was a helpful gesture!
Have you ever been bitten when you were trying to be helpful?
My experience with the reporter reminded me of the time an employee with the United States Marshals Service, John Soltys, a recently discharged Navy Seal who was enthusiastic and hardworking, suggested an improvement in the prisoner cell block. We forwarded his idea to headquarters for a commendation and they wrote back that he should be disciplined because he went outside his scope of responsibility.
Not long ago a friend of mine picked up a toy a child had dropped in a store and smilingly gave it back to her. The child’s mother grabbed it and angrily said, “Are you nuts? That teaches her to take things from strangers!” (I think someone was nuts in that conversation.)
How can you respond to unexpected bites?
Use self-control. Avoid lashing out in anger or hurt. Use your face and voice to show that you want to know what has caused the unexpected reaction. Smile if it is appropriate. Show concern, ask questions, give people a chance to back off from their hasty actions.
Be as honest and open as the situation will allow: “I don’t know what to say. I really didn’t expect this to be a problem.” “I have to tell you, I’m surprised I’m getting this response.” Perhaps a simple clarification or explanation can completely change the reactions of the other person.
You may need to stop the interaction, if you are in a situation where you can do so: “I was mistaken and thought you might be interested. You’re not, so we don’t need to talk about it anymore.”
There will be some situations in which you cannot present your viewpoint and you can only hope to get our rear-end out of the situation safely! At that point your best response is a simple, “I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Once bitten, twice shy.” There are some people you can never please and they approach most conversations with an unpleasant attitude. Others, like you and me, may not always respond effectively, but it is not the norm and we work to avoid being unpleasant, as well as working to show appreciation.
Put A Muzzle On Yourself
Think before you reject an idea or a person. Don’t say no too quickly and don’t assume you know all about the situation and can make a clear decision. Find out more.
Use your expression and voice to present your best self. When you must disagree or decline something, you can say no without saying it in a way that is offensive, hurtful or dismissive. Especially read your emails to ensure that you are not being more curt or sarcastic than you intended.
Consider the intentions of others. The old adage is that we judge ourselves by our intentions while others judge us by our actions. Change that a bit. Work to judge intentions and try to put a good spin on them until you are proven wrong. That is what you would want from others.
Appreciate efforts: We often say, derisively, “they meant well.” At least honor that, even though you should not accept poor work or a bad outcome. Treat effort and outcome separately. When people have tried to do the right thing, don’t repay them by biting their heads off about it.
Smiling is the best way to show your teeth!
October 5th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
*Free Church Security PDF, Personal and Professional Development |
7 comments
The Jumblies
by Edward Lear
They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
In a Sieve they went to sea:
In spite of all their friends could say,
On a winter’s morn, on a stormy day,
In a Sieve they went to sea!
And when the Sieve turned round and round,
And everyone cried, ‘You’ll all be drowned!’
They called aloud, ‘Our Sieve ain’t big,
But we don’t care a button! we don’t care a fig!
In a Sieve we’ll go to sea!’
That is one of the many nonsense poems by Edward Lear (1812-1888). The Jumblies were a strange group–”their heads are green and their hands are blue.” But what made them so strange for this poem was their insistence upon doing something as dangerous as getting in a sieve (a kitchen strainer, pronounced, sive, as in give) and setting sail on a Winter’s morn, on a stormy day.
Countries, governments, businesses, organizations and individuals often end up in precarious situations that, after the fact, seemed inevitably doomed. It is also true that sometimes even the most safe appearing ventures can fail.
- Have you ever–OK, right now are you doing it?–felt as though you were in a sieve in the sea on a stormy day?
- Have you wondered how the heck you ended up in such a pickle?
- Have you thought that if only you could go back in time a bit, you would not get into that sieve in the first place?
- If there was a group called Sieve Sailors Anonymous, would you join? (Pass me that application, please!)
Avoid Being Like the Jumblies
1. Consider every significant decision as a boat that will take you somewhere. Will this action, this assignment, this relationship, this conversation, take you where you want to go? How you spend your next five minutes can be significant!
2. Be ready to make repairs. There is an old proverb about even the very best sails: “Split happens.” (OK, that isn’t an old proverb, but it could be!) Be ready emotionally, mentally, fincancially and every other way to repair damages and keep moving. That takes planning and requires long-term self-management.
3. Know when it’s time to change your plans. You don’t need to jump ship at the first big wave. But, if you are being swamped, don’t apologize for making a change. You may have to make big changes or only small ones. Whatever you do, be in charge of it as much as you can, rather than delaying until someone else takes over for you. Put your plans in writing and track your progress. Do not slack off even for one hour about something as important as this!
4. If you ever find yourself in a sieve in the sea on a Winter’s morn and a stormy day, act quickly to get to a safe harbor. Most importantly, don’t waste time feeling stupid or guilty for getting out there in the first place. There is no point in wishing things were different. They aren’t. You got in a sieve, and that’s all there is to it. Start bailing and do the best you can, with a smile on your face and a commitment to not get yourself in that situation again. You can do it!
October 1st, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Personal and Professional Development |
3 comments
Ten Ways to Be Impressive In a New Job
or New Assignment.
1. Plan your farewell party before your first day at work. When you leave, what do you want them to say about you? What do you want in your letter of reference? Work like that, live like that, and relate to others like that, from day one.
2. Make each day a new job interview. You probably answered some questions about the kind of employee you would be and how you would look and act at work. Make those answers come true. Assume that you are being evaluated by others each day, because you are.
3. Remember that nothing is as bad or as good as it seems in the first few days. Do not become so discouraged or so impressed in your first few days that you make the assumption it will always be the way it seems. Focus on the work and on effective interactions with coworkers, supervisors and others and look to the future. Give it time to develop.
4. Balance confidence with humility. This is a difficult balance to find, but it is a good one. Walk and talk confidently, but do not assume you have paid dues enough to criticize, act overly impressed with yourself, or behave as though you do not need help at all. Confident humility is a very impressive trait.
5. Look and act a bit above the level you are working. You have probably heard the advice about dressing for the position you want to have. That is not entirely practical or appropriate. However, it is true that the best way to look and act all the time–and certainly as a new employee–is a tad bit better than required for your job. Dress as nicely as you can, rather than dressing down to the lowest level you can get by with. Talk as if the CEO or boss was present, rather than talking as though you are with peers who completely understand you and agree with you. Act as though you are a career person, rather than only having a job, even if you only have a short-term job.
6. If you are outgoing, back off a bit. If you are quiet, reach out a bit. Do not overwhelm people with your friendliness and cheerfulness, but also do not seem disinterested, hostile or excessively shy. Get to know people in a moderate way at first.
7. Act normal. That sounds like strange advice, doesn’t it? But, the reason many new employee are shut out or not considered a good choice for the job is that they display every quirk and eccentricity in the first few days or weeks. Many of those should never be displayed! There is never a time when it is good to talk to yourself, heavy sigh repeatedly, wear lots of fragrance, have some strange and quirky habit or mannerism, talk in strange accents and tone for the fun of it, talk about your politics or religion, or talk obsessively about anything. Just act normal, ordinary, routine, and easy to work around. You do not have to impress everyone with your uniqueness all the time.
8. Use your performance evaluation form as a map for excellence. ASAP look at the form that will be used to rate you, if there is one. Write down the areas in which you will be rated. Then, make sure you are purposely working to provide your supervisor with examples of how you fit those areas. If there is not form, talk to your supervisor about his or her views of excellent performance and behavior. Demonstrating that you fulfill the qualities and traits of excellence in your specific work is the way to be a star!
9. Build and maintain a good relationship with your supervisor. It is good to have positive relationships with coworkers, but do not do that at the expense of a good relationship with your supervisor. Your supervisor is the one who completes your evaluation, makes recommendations about you and your work and can make work life easier or not. Be courteous, appropriately friendly and be sure to ask for advice, assistance or direction. You may not have what you consider to be a great supervisor, but the advice still applies.
10. Keep a journal on your home computer or in a hard copy book at home. Just a few words now and then can help you stay on target with your work goals. Your journal is a good place to write your first impressions, concerns and triumphs, and other interesting information. You will also enjoy it tremendously in the future!
Key point: You can apply these concepts no matter how long you have been in your job. Every day can be the first day and your best day.
If you have a new job or new assignment within your organization, best wishes with it! You may need more than ten steps to be completely successful, but these will certainly get you started.
September 26th, 2008
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TLR |
Personal and Professional Development |
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What should you do when it becomes apparent that Obnoxious Ollie, Irritating Ida or Weird Al, are not accepted by others in the group you supervise? What if they are rejected, excluded and shunned by peers because of behavior, performance, habits, mannerisms, personality, hygiene or other issues that create problems–and over which the employee has control?
The answer to those questions are found in three areas of investigation–What peer employees are doing, what the rejected employee is doing and what you are responsible for doing.
What are the peers of the employee doing? No matter what the situation, all employees must obey rules, policies and procedures, and those should never be violated. Neither should employees do anything that reduces work effectiveness and productivity. Dirty tricks, work sabotage, name-calling and spreading rumors are not acceptable and must be stopped by the supervisor.
If peer ostracism consists primarily of not asking the employee to join the group for lunch or breaks, only being civil but not being overtly friendly or similar shunning activities, there is likely no rules violation. Supervisors should encourage positive relationships, but cannot order people to be friends.
What actions by the rejected employee may have created the situation? In the situations we’re discussing the shunned employee has created conflict or rejection because of his or her own behavior or performance. For example, in one work group an employee was shunned in personal relationships after she lied repeatedly. In another, an employee’s loud laugh and irritating remarks, caused coworkers to avoid anything but absolutely necessary conversations. Identify the nature of the problems so you can talk to the employee about it. Be specific, rather than only telling an employee they have to “learn to get along” or some other general comment.
Note: If the employee is being rejected, shunned or excluded about things over which he or she has no control, you have a completely different situation. That kind of treatment is the essence of bullying and should be stopped immediately and action taken about inappropriate behavior.
What should you do?
1. Intervene. Do not shrug off your responsibility in this area. You are responsible for the workplace and everyone in it. Do your job to stop behavior by any employee that causes others to be justifiably offended, irritated, disrupted or disgusted. At the same time, stop shunning or rejecting behavior by other employees, if it becomes disruptive, offensive or inappropriate.
Peer supervision is often caused by lack of formal supervision. If an employee does something inappropriate that causes others to shun or reject him or her, you are remiss if you have not done something to stop the situation and start improvement processes. If the situation is not something the employee can control, you are remiss if you allow other employees to say or do inappropriate things in response.
2. Build the team. When all employees are focused on work and must find ways to work together, some of the barriers between them will be reduced automatically. Sometimes personal rejection of an employee continues long after bad behavior or performance has stopped. Work, meetings, projects and activities that require everyone to interact can help highlight improvements.
3. Develop individuals. Every employee has strengths and developmental needs. Sometimes when there is a problem employee, other employees begin to think they are almost perfect in comparison. Help all employees see the need to improve. Put their focus on their own development and they are not so likely to be disrupted by others.
The employee who needs to change or improve should also be developed. Sometimes helping an employee see they can be better than they are in even one area, helps them become motivated to improve in every area.
Your Role: If you have done all you can do to help a problem employee change or improve but they are still being disruptive or problematic, you should have good documentation of your efforts and should talk to HR or those above you, to see about the next step. Emphasize the negative affect on work because of the actions of the problem employee. However, be sure you can show that you have not allowed inappropriate behavior by other employees.
If an employee has mental or emotional problems that make it impossible for him or her to fit into the work group, but you have been told no action will be taken to remove them, there will likely always be a degree of rejection of the employee. You cannot stop that, you can only work to ensure that the group stays productive and acting appropriately.
You must support, guide, direct, re-direct, reprimand, commend and communicate with everyone as needed. But, you should not become a guardian angel, co-conspirator or merely an observer. You are in this for the long haul. What kind of work environment do you want to have a year from now? Build toward that today.
September 20th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Supervision and Management |
5 comments
Use a GPS System to Help You Stay on the Road to Wealth
As I was reading the old magazine pictured above, I thought about the fact that the article could have been written today. Money, and what money can buy, has been part of life forever. What tends to change for us as individuals is why we want money.
It seems we go through stages in our lives: First, we want money to buy fun things, then to establish ourselves, then to support the family infrastructure (and that’s a good word for it, because it becomes an empire of sorts!) then to provide peace of mind, and finally to make being old and ill easier financially on ourselves and others. That’s about the most depressing thing I have ever written! But, I think it’s true for many.
It doesn’t take a financial wizard to determine that our economy is not going to be glowingly healthy in the coming years, and neither will your financial well-being if you are not careful. The money you make will have to go further, because prices are going up faster than your salary. Having protection against loss of income and changes in benefits and retirement programs, is more critical than ever. Medical care is truly a challenge, and if you become really ill, it could be devastating to your family’s future.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be so gloomy, and you can have peace of mind as well as making fun purchases now and then. But, unless you inherit a chunk of money, you will have to make it happen with what you have, where you are.
One of the best programs I have seen for tracking money and helping you to visualize where your money is being spent, as well as recommending changes and even advising about which bills to pay off first and how to do it, is Mint.com. It is interesting and user-friendly. It is also safe and well respected among programs of its kind. I don’t get paid to talk about it–and if you have something better to use, use it. I just thought I’d mention it because I have heard so many people mention it positively, and I’m going to use it myself.
This link will take you to the page that demonstrates the site. Check it out. It is particularly worthwhile for young adults and those who are still in their peak earning years, but it’s useful for maximizing limited money later, too. It’s not just a map, it’s a GPS system that helps you monitor a variety of issues.
It is never too early to get on the road to financial stability, and it is never too late to get off the road that takes you where you do not want to go. Try Mint. com, or at least read some of the articles, to help you manage better in any economic environment–but especially in the next few years.
September 16th, 2008
Posted by
TLR |
Life and Work, Personal and Professional Development |
3 comments
